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This Jungian Life Podcast

The Problem with Problems: solve or avoid?

This Jungian Life Podcast

Joseph Lee, Deborah Stewart, Lisa Marchiano

Jungian, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Psychology, Dreams, Jung, Relationships, Selfhelp, Society & Culture, Psychoanalysis

4.81.7K Ratings

🗓️ 20 October 2022

⏱️ 73 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Problems can pester, persist and plague. They range from short-lived to chronic, bothersome to heart-wrenching, resolvable to unalterable. Problems cause what Jungian analyst and author James Hollis refers to as the three As: ambiguity, ambivalence, and anxiety. Ambiguity arises when a problem is complex and confusing, demanding action without certainty. Ambivalence is a state of conflicted feelings, often related to immediate versus long-term gratification. Anxiety is worry and doubt about whether we can meet a challenge or achieve a desired outcome. Problems confront us with a basic choice: action or avoidance—but action without analysis can also be a form of avoidance. We must accept the situation, tolerate the tension, and observe external and internal factors before identifying options. Jung says, “The most intense conflicts if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.”

Here’s the dream we analyzed:

“I was pregnant, and I went to a cafe with my husband. I went away and had my baby. I went to a party where some family and friends were welcoming the baby. I cradled a small plastic box with a transparent plastic lid. There were about six spaces pressed into the foam of the box and my baby, which was a tiny bee, was in the right bottom corner of the case. As the party was ending, family members encouraged me to let the bee out of the case. My husband said to do what I thought was right. I opened the case, and we left the party hall, the bee flying above us. When we got outside, it flew away. I ran to keep up with it, and it flew to a huge wooden and plexiglass hive on the lawn. My baby bee flew to a bigger bee, circled it, and was imitating it, even getting onto the big bee’s back while it flew. I wanted to catch my bee but was intimidated by the bigger bee. They flew off in a swarm with others. My husband told me it was time to go. I walked away, and we drove away with my in-laws. When we were alone again, I couldn’t stop crying. My husband took me to the same cafe, but I could hardly walk because I was crying so much. The server said I looked good for just having had a baby. I went to the bathroom, sobbing and feeling very swollen all over. I looked at my puffy face in the mirror and felt like I looked new.”

REFERENCES:

Edwards Deming: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._Edwards_Deming

Video: It’s Not About the Nail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to this Jungian life.

0:03.0

Three good friends and Jungian analysts, Lisa Martiano,

0:07.0

Debra Stewart and Joseph Lee invite you to join them for an intimate and honest conversation

0:12.0

that brings a psychological perspective to important issues of the day.

0:17.0

I'm Lisa Martiano and I'm a Jungian analyst in Philadelphia.

0:22.0

I'm Joseph Lee and I'm a Jungian analyst in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

0:27.0

I'm Debra Stewart, a Jungian analyst and Cape Cod.

0:36.0

Have you ever had a problem that you couldn't solve?

0:41.0

And maybe you went around and asked friends, colleagues, wise elders if they're awesome?

0:51.0

What should I do about this?

0:53.0

People give you all kinds of suggestions.

0:56.0

And nothing quite fits a psych.

0:58.0

Nah, I tried that or no.

1:01.0

I don't think that would work.

1:03.0

So what we are going to talk about today is problems that don't get solved,

1:09.0

maybe problems that can't be solved or in short the problem with problems.

1:17.0

Gosh, so much comes up for me right away, Deb.

1:21.0

From your introduction, I immediately thought of the phenomenon of the help refusing complainer.

1:27.0

Wow.

1:28.0

So someone with a problem who brings it to everyone and complains

1:33.0

and other people offer suggestions or offer help

1:37.0

and the person with the problem says, no, that won't work.

...

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