The Power of Boundaries (Nedra Tawwab)

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Elise Loehnen

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 900 Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2022

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“As a therapist, I started to discover that when people need boundaries, they start to have issues around anxiety in their relationships, some depression, because they're not able to really stand up. Or they feel hopeless about improving certain scenarios. Burn out—when people start to say, ‘Oh my gosh, I hate work. I have to work on weekends. Oh, this person keeps talking to me about this thing.’ So burn out frustration. Sometimes moodiness, when we get really mad at other people for asking us stuff, that could be a sign that we need some boundaries around. You know, maybe saying no and not giving them the freedom to constantly use us as a resource. Our feelings are really huge indicators on where we need boundaries. When we're feeling upset, frustrated, anxious, confused, angry, those are all huge indicators that boundaries are very likely needed.” So says Nedra Glover Tawwab, sought-after relationship expert, licensed therapist and New York Times best-selling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. In the book, Nedra puts her 15 years of experience demystifying the concept of boundaries to work, teaching us to get assertive in order to create healthy relationships with ourselves and our loved ones. She brings her no nonsense boundary-setting tips to the podcast today as our conversation explores signs we may need boundaries in our relationships, why people may not respect our boundaries and how to express our needs clearly, avoiding the all too common passive-aggressive spiral. She reminds us that it is ok to be less than perfect, to admit when we don’t have it all together, and to accept the help of others. Because when we establish healthy boundaries, give others grace, and accept grace ourselves we are bound to enjoy more successful, more rewarding relationships in all areas of our lives. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Boundaries - your owner’s manual… Signs that you may need boundaries… Our favorite form of communication… Leaving room for error… MORE FROM NEDRA TAWWAB: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself The Set Boundaries Workbook: Practical Exercises for Understanding Your Needs and Setting Healthy Limits Follow Nedra on Instagram and Twitter To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, it's Elise Luna and host of Pulling the Thread. Today's guest is America's therapist
0:05.6	Nedra Toowab, the author of the New York Times bestselling Set Boundaries Find Peace,
0:12.0	which is about freedom that can only be found when we learn to state our needs.
0:17.9	Hi, friends, throughout this holiday season, you will find me right here per normal.
0:23.7	We will keep publishing new episodes every week and a few solos thrown in as well. So when you
0:30.8	just need to escape from the business of the holiday shuffle or take a break from mom or dad or
0:36.2	who knows who, we'll be here as we always are.
0:43.9	Hi, it's Elise Lunan, host of pulling the thread Thread. I'm an author, podcast host, and parent who
0:55.9	built a long career in media. I grew up in a state of perpetual curiosity, investigating
1:01.6	the world and asking a lot of questions. In this show, I chat with culture defining leaders,
1:07.8	thinkers, and experts about this rare moment that we find ourselves in
1:11.5	and how to think about our own lives and experiences within a larger social and spiritual
1:16.9	construct. As a therapist, I started to discover that when people need boundaries,
1:23.1	they start to have issues around anxiety and their relationships, some depression, because they're not
1:28.5	able to really stand up or they feel hopeless about improving certain scenarios. Burnout, when
1:36.8	people start to say, oh, my gosh, I hate work, I have to work on weekends. Oh, this person keeps
1:42.0	talking to me about this thing. So burnout, frustration,
1:46.5	sometimes moodiness. When we get really mad at other people for asking us up, that could be a sign
1:52.8	that we need some boundaries around, you know, maybe saying no and not, you know, giving them the
1:58.1	freedom to constantly use us as a resource. Our feelings are really
2:02.9	huge indicators on where we need boundaries. When we're feeling upset, frustrated, anxious, confused,
2:09.6	angry, those are all huge indicators that boundaries are very likely needed. So says Nedra Glover Toab, sought after relationship expert,
	...

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