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Judge John Hodgman

The Perp Walk

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.87.7K Ratings

🗓️ 9 April 2014

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lisa says her boyfriend Mitch's jaywalking is irritating and downright dangerous. Mitch says it's a useful skill, to be honed and used when appropriate. Who's right?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Oye, oye, oye, oye, welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast, I'm your guest

0:07.6

bailiff, John Roderick. This week, the Perp Walk. Lisa brings the case against her

0:14.6

J-walking boyfriend, Mitch. She says that his method of crossing streets is irritating to her

0:20.7

and dangerous too. Mitch says that sometimes J-walking is appropriate and even safer than crossing

0:27.2

at a crosswalk. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge

0:34.8

John Hodgman enters the courtroom. Don't cross the street in the middle in the middle in the middle

0:44.0

in the middle of the block, don't cross the street in the middle in the middle in the middle in the

0:47.3

middle of the block. Use your eyes to look up, use your ears to hear, walk up to the corner when

0:53.9

the coast is clear and wait and wait until you see the light turn green, don't cross the street

0:59.6

in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle of the middle of the block. But do swear

1:04.0

them in, guest bailiff, John Roderick. Lisa and Mitch, please rise and raise your right hand.

1:12.1

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God

1:16.8

or whatever. I do. I do. You swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact

1:25.7

that he is in no way a jurist as undertaken no study of the law is admitted to no professional

1:32.0

association nor passed any state bar is recognized by no federal nor foreign agency and derives

1:38.9

his authority entirely and exclusively from his status as a grandiose former minor television

1:45.2

personality. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Thank you. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.

1:50.8

Thank you very much, guest bailiff John Roderick. We are joined Lisa and Mitch today by John Roderick

1:55.9

of the Long Winters and the Roderick on the Line podcast. As our guest bailiff is Jesse Thorn

2:02.0

is once more a wall. I don't know where he is. He he just shed his bailiffs uniform sitting

2:10.2

in the middle of the courtroom floor right now mysteriously and I guess he's running nude

2:13.8

through the prairie somewhere. But luckily John Roderick is here to join us. Thank you, John.

...

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