From Pier X, this is the Malth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin-Geness. In this episode, facing the next step, stories of moving forward.

I've always appreciated that H.G. Wells quote, adapt or perish, now as ever is nature's inexorable imperative. Basically, you must change. We cannot go back, we can only move forward. And in the journey through the mock, maybe you'll find a story.

We start with a woman who's mourning her youth. And just to note, it's a very funny story about the downward travel of parts of her own body.

Elizabeth Gray shared this at an open-mike storieslam in Melbourne, Australia, where we partner with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, ABCRM. Here's Elizabeth, live with the mom.

So this story begins six years ago when I was 38 years old. And it was a beautiful morning because Nana had stayed over, which meant that I'd rather sleep in.

So because I was well rested, I actually wanted to spend time with my children. And so I thought what I would do is I would go out while they're sitting at the kitchen table. And I'd jump up and I'd go, RAAA!

So, I got out of bed, popped my dress and gown on, strapped it on nice and tight, crept out to the dining table.

And I leapt in the air, and as I leapt in the air, my breasts, which would joist and free of any constraints, leapt with me.

And then when I landed, they landed a second behind, and they made this enormous clap sound as they hit my torso.

And my kids didn't seem to notice, and if Nana noticed, she didn't say anything. But I kind of crept back to the bedroom, and I sat down in shock as this sound just kind of echoed around my brain.

Because this thunderous clap was the death knell of my youth.

And for the first time in my life, I actually thought, maybe I should get some plastic surgery. Maybe I should get a breast reduction.

And over the years, age and gravity had, you know, affected my breasts. And not only that, but it had been 15 years of fluctuating weight, and I'd breastfed two children.

And in addition to that, my left breast is actually two sizes larger than my right.

So when I'm naked, kind of look a bit like a Picasso painting.

But I worked out that if I stand with my left arm straight up, and my right arm, 90 degrees away from my body to the right,

everything evens out. And takes 10 years off my breast. But it's a little bit hard to feel sexy when you look like you're doing some kind of kinky semaphore thing going on.

So being a good vergo, I made a list of pros and cons. And the pros were, you know, better self image, more confidence, and being able to buy a normal sports bra, as opposed to a sports bra, which is designed by NASA, and cost about $150.

But there are quite a lot of cons, quite a lot more cons. And some of those were terrible with pain, I'm a terrible patient. I don't have a big disposable income.

And I have quite an addictive personality. So I was sort of looking a couple of years into the future, thinking that I would look, you know, great, nice and shiny and plastic, but we completely destitute.

Sort of like under no dumpster diving Barbie, complete with her own shopping trolley.

So I thought, well, I talked to my husband about it, see if he can help me with the decision. Now, my husband loves my breasts.

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