The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known: Writer Tim Kreider Visits The Unspeakable
The Unspeakeasy With Meghan Daum
Meghan Daum
4.7 • 855 Ratings
🗓️ 17 July 2023
⏱️ 81 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Even if you don't recognize Tim Kreider's name, there's a good chance you've read his work. In addition to his two collections of essays, We Learn Nothing and I Wrote This Book Because I Love You, he's published many short essays in the New York Times opinion section, nearly all of which seem to go viral. The first such essay was The Busy Trap, published more than 10 years ago, wherein he called out Americans' perpetual condition of being "crazy busy" as "a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; obviously, your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy." He's also famous for an essay about knowing people are talking about you behind your back, which Meghan has mentioned several times on the podcast and which has been immortalized in a famous meme. In this conversation, Tim shares his thoughts about writing about yourself, writing about other people, teaching writing to college students and (unrelatedly) getting stabbed. He also talks about the process of deciding not to have kids, the difficulty of living with another person as you get older, and a phenomenon he describes as the "soul toupee."
For paying subscribers, Tim stays overtime and talks about (among other things) being 56-years-old, contemplating mortality, coping with a diminished attention span, and dating his fans – although he insists they're not really fans once you start dating them. To hear that portion, become a paying subscriber at https://meghandaum.substack.com/.
Guest Bio
Tim Kreider is the author of the essay collections We Learn Nothing and I Wrote This Book Because I Love You. He has contributed to The New York Times, The New Yorker's Page-Turner blog, Men's Journal, The Comics Journal, Film Quarterly, and Fangoria. His cartoon "The Pain–When Will It End?" ran for 12 years in the Baltimore City Paper and other weeklies and is archived at thepaincomics.com. Learn more about him at timkreider.com
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | It's one of those fugitive thoughts I've harbored on and off for the last couple years. |
| 0:08.5 | Like, why don't I laugh as much as I used to? |
| 0:12.3 | You know, I still remember the laughs I had with friends back then. |
| 0:16.0 | And once in a while it happens, but I don't feel like I've wept with laughter in recent years. And I don't know if |
| 0:22.6 | that's a function of age or if it's because things are genuinely significantly less funny. |
| 0:30.1 | I mean, it's a grim time. |
| 0:35.3 | Welcome to the unspeakable podcast. I'm your host, Megan Down. Before I introduce my guest this week, Tim Kreider, several announcements. I'll try to be as quick as possible here. The first is that I am offering a writing workshop this fall. There were a lot of requests for this. So here it is. It's a personal essay and |
| 0:55.7 | memoir class. We're doing it on Zoom, six consecutive Wednesdays from 3 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time |
| 1:03.4 | starting on September 6th. So you can go to my substack and find out more about that. |
| 1:09.5 | You don't have to be a paying subscriber to see that post. |
| 1:12.8 | I used to have a website dedicated to the class, but I had so many websites floating around. |
| 1:18.0 | It was getting confusing. So I'm trying to keep everything on the substack to go to megan |
| 1:21.5 | dumb.com to find out about the writing class. Second thing is that I have added a one-day unspeakeasy retreat to the calendar this year. |
| 1:32.0 | It's going to happen in Denver on Saturday, September 30th. |
| 1:36.6 | That is going to be running all day, probably 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. or so. |
| 1:41.8 | That will be the women's retreat portion. |
| 1:43.7 | We'll have guest speakers. |
| 1:45.0 | It'll be like a sped up version of the weekend retreat. And we'll also have a party in the |
| 1:51.6 | evening, an unspeak easy for all event that men are invited to. If they have any connection |
| 1:57.7 | to the women at the event, figure out how that works. |
| 2:01.2 | So go to the unspeak easy.com and request information about our one-day retreat on September 30th in Denver. |
| 2:09.0 | What's next? |
... |
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