The Invisible Forces Keeping You Exhausted & Anxious—And How To Break Free

The Liz Moody Podcast

Liz Moody

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 1 October 2025

⏱️ 94 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why do so many women feel guilty when they rest? I sit down with Elise Loehnen—New York Times bestselling author—to unpack the deep cultural and personal reasons women over-function, over-deliver, and burn themselves out. If you've ever felt like you have to earn rest or prove your worth through constant doing, this conversation is for you. We dive into the emotional and societal roots of rest guilt—why it feels “wrong” to slow down, even when you're exhausted. Elise shares how breaking her neck forced her to confront her own beliefs about being a “good woman” and why she realized that no one was actually demanding perfection from her… except herself. We also explore the difference between stories and facts, and how many of us live in exhausting stories about motherhood, ambition, money, and self-worth without even realizing it. Elise teaches us how to identify those narratives, trace where they came from, and consciously choose new ones that serve you. If you’ve struggled with performative motherhood, scarcity around money, resentment in your relationships, or comparing yourself to women online, Elise offers a compassionate, story-rich guide to healing. Her tools for turning envy into insight, fear into clarity, and busyness into boundaries are some of the most practical and powerful I’ve heard. You’ll also hear: What performative labor looks like in motherhood and work—and how to stop How envy can reveal what you truly want Why women cancel themselves while men just keep going How to stop outsourcing your self-worth to productivity Why comparison, guilt, and burnout are often symptoms of deeper emotional patterns—and what to do instead Whether you’re navigating motherhood, building a career, or simply trying to feel like you’re “enough,” this episode is a warm and honest invitation to put down the pressure and pick up rest—not as a reward, but as your right. For more from Elise Loehnen, check out her podcast Pulling The Thread, her workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness, or find her on Instagram @eliseloehnen. Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now! Connect with Liz on Instagram @lizmoody or online at www.lizmoody.com. Subscribe to the substack by visiting https://lizmoody.substack.com/welcome. Buy our cute sweatshirts, conversation cards, and more at https://shop.lizmoody.com/. Use our discount codes from our highly vetted and tested brand partners by visiting https://www.lizmoody.com/codes. To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. This episode is brought to you completely free thanks to the following podcast sponsors: Seed (DS-01): head to Seed.com/LizMoody and use code LIZMOODY for 25% off your first month. Pique: go to PiqueLife.com/LizMoody for up to 20% off plus a special gift. Shopify: visit Shopify.com/LizM to sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period. LMNT: go to DrinkLMNT.com/LizMoody to get a free LMNT sample pack with any order. IQ Bar: Text LIZ to 64000 for 20% off all IQBAR products plus FREE shipping. The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast. This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 369. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	So many women feel guilty when they rest. Why is rest the first thing we sacrifice and how do we start
0:05.6	breaking free from that guilt? With our conscious and unconscious agreement, it keeps us so enslaved to
0:12.5	busyness that it's impossible to really attend to anything else, including what's happening in the
0:18.9	world and around us. I think it comes from this core idea that's passed on to women by women.
0:24.8	To be a quote-unquote good woman, you will subjugate what you want,
0:28.7	which might be a desire for rest, to other people's needs.
0:31.9	And the needs are endless.
0:33.3	We end up in this perpetual hamster wheel servicing the world and its inhabitants rather than
0:39.1	tuning in to ourselves. What if they do feel like real needs, though? Like if you have children,
0:44.0	those are real needs and you do need to attend to them. You want to attend to your partner's needs.
0:48.7	You need to attend to the needs of your work. How do you begin to distinguish what needs you can
0:52.6	maybe deprioritize to make
0:54.4	room for yourself? I think what's sold to women and that we pick up is this idea that we're the only
1:00.2	one who can service those needs. And it's on us to do it with a sort of religious fervor. I'm married.
1:06.1	I have two boys and similar to you. I'm trying to build my own little media world, and yet I still find
1:14.0	myself doing far more than my husband, and not because he's making me, but because it's part
1:19.7	of this mantle that I've picked up about what it is to be a good woman and what it is to be a good
1:23.9	mother. Hi, I'm Elise Lunin, the author of The New York Times bestseller on
1:28.1	Our Best Behavior and the host of Pulling the Threat. Elise, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me.
1:34.4	Tell me about performative motherhood. A good mother performs all of these acts of devotion to her children.
1:40.5	And yes, some of them are necessary. My kids need to eat and be clothes and educated. And some of
1:46.0	them are certainly in the extra credit category of performative motherhood that we see all over
	...

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