Danny Wallace

Gray D-O-X

Well hello and welcome to another important broadcast podcast from your podcast Pals.

And why would I be wearing this?

Look at me.

I am draped in liquid bronze.

I walked in, stripped off, dip myself into the bucket of bronze.

It had cooled down. It was fine. And now I'm dripping like that lady from Goldfinger. Yeah, it's starting to go hard, isn't it? Bronze finger. Yeah, I'm bronze everything. And I can't quite... You know, one day there will be a statue of me. And so this is a handy pilot scheme. Where would you like that statue to be? Because you grew up in a few different places. Like mine would obviously be in Bitterickie. Yours would obviously be in Western Zorland. Yeah. I think Dundee. I think I would, I think right now Dundee's getting very cool. There's the Discovery ship. There's the VNA, there's the Eden Project that's happening.

Dundee's a city on the move.

And so what it needs, down by the waterside, a 600-foot statue of me.

Yes.

What other celebrities is?

Draped in, draped in bronze.

Yeah, who else is from Dundee?

I mean, George Galloway is from Dundee, so he might get a statue before you. I don't think he's going to be a statue. I'm not 600 feet one. Brian Cox as well. Yeah, the actor, Brian Cox. I really like him. Yeah, he's getting a statue before you as well. I don't think he would, no, I don't think so. It's a bit showy for Brian Cox. Billy McKenzie. I don't know who that is.

Dennis the Menace, of course.

He's already got one,

and so does Desperate Dan. And the Lemmings, who were developed in Dundee. Yeah, I don't know. I think you've got a way to go, mate, to be honest. You're not beating Brian Cox, are you? Well, can you just make a statue and leave it somewhere?

Yeah, and I'm going to do that.

Do you remember those images of the Statue of Liberty on a ship towards New York?

Yes, yeah.

That's going to bear down across the River Taye towards Dundee, and people will scatter, scared.

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