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Teas and C's apply. Danny Wallace. Radio X. Well, hello and welcome to another important broadcast podcast from your podcast chums. I'm a chum. Joe's a chum? Yeah, I'm a chum. Steve's a chump. I saw that coming, didn't I? Well, did you? Mm-hmm. It's embarrassing. Joe's left the studio already. Where are you going? No, I'm just checking something. Is this number 180? Oh, that would be a lot of fun. I wouldn't approve of saying something like that. I think that would be, that's beneath us that kind of humour. It is a bit beneath us, Joe. I've never been to the darts. Apparently it's a good night out, but when I watch it on the television, I find that very hard to believe. So a lot, just a lot of drinking lager from jugs. Yeah, people shouting. You can't see that board from the back. No, anything could happen. You just rely on the back. Screen, it's like a gig. But that's what I'm saying. It's like, you know, they could just be showing an old darts game up there on the screens. No, it's a lot of people have buying into this conspiracy that dance isn't real. Really? Yeah. They just show old games on the screens and there's just a board up the front and people standing around and you think you're watching the darts, but you're not really. That's why all the main characters in the darts all, isn't it weird? they all look like they're from 1979? It's because you're watching the same matches over and over. And where they make the real money, the real scratch, the real moula is from the bar snacks. Yeah. Yeah. And the jugs of larker. The jugs of watered down lager. And I think it's about time we exposed them. So who's a famous dartist? A famous dartsist would be Eric Bristow. Oh, okay. Well, Eric Bristow. Nice up-to-date reference. I don't know. Probably someone called Phil. Phil the power tailor. There you go. All right. let's try and track down Phil Taylor. And then what we do is we'll lure him onto this show. We'll set up a fake dark podcast. Yeah. And we'll say, hey. What are we call it? Straight off the bat, what's what are we calling it? The darkest formerly known as... Dart attack. Very nice. It sounds like violent. It does, yeah. That's because we're attacking.

It's a good pun.

We'll get him in.

Also, we love darts.

We just want to talk to a dartist.

Who just darted?

That's what we'll call it. Who just darted, Joe? Yeah. And then as soon as you sit there, we go, admit, it's fake, isn't it? It's fake. You're a liar.

Yeah.

And then he'll be so surprised.

He'll buckle.

He will.

He'll buckle.

We'll buckle him down.

And then, nice PR so surprised. He'll buckle. He'll buckle.

We'll buckle him down.

And then, nice PR moment for us, that. And then we then direct all those eyes back. And then we'll be investigative journalists. We're going to take down dance. Yeah. Then after that, who knows what we can do? Maybe Russia. Yeah, we can do Russia after that. All that aside, this is number 180.

It is.

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