The Guilt of Not Showing Up Like You Used To — Without Owing Everyone Your Whole Story (Couch Talks)
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat
Nashville Podcast Network
4.9 • 5.3K Ratings
🗓️ 29 January 2026
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Amy and Kat respond to a listener who went through a traumatic season that deeply impacted her marriage, friendships, and sense of capacity. While focusing on healing, couples therapy, and an intense grad school program, she pulled back from friends — and now, as she begins to reconnect, she’s carrying guilt for not showing up like she used to. They talk about whether we owe our friends explanations during seasons of survival, and how to navigate friendships that were strained while you were doing the best you could. Together, they explore the balance between honoring your own healing and acknowledging the hurt of others, how to communicate without over-explaining, and how to discern when a friendship needs repair, patience, or a gentle letting go.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.6 | Guaranteed Human. |
| 0:04.3 | This reminder, even though we are answering your questions on couch talks, |
| 0:06.3 | this podcast does not serve as a replacement or a substitute for any actual mental health services. |
| 0:09.5 | If you ever have feelings that you just want some, maybe and cat got you covered like |
| 0:18.6 | an arm, brother, ladies and fellas, we just follow in a spirit where it tells us. |
| 0:24.6 | From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. |
| 0:29.5 | Sometimes the best thing you can do is just out and feel things. |
| 0:35.2 | This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. |
| 0:37.7 | Happy Thursday. |
| 0:38.4 | Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q&A episode to the Feeling Things podcast. |
| 0:43.1 | I'm Amy. |
| 0:43.7 | And I'm Kat. |
| 0:44.5 | And today's email is Anonymous. |
| 0:48.2 | Hi, Amy and Kat. |
| 0:49.8 | I appreciated the Couch Talks episode about self-care turning into ghosting and how much we should share with our friends when we're going through something. |
| 0:59.0 | I was hoping to hear your thoughts on something I've been struggling with, which feels like the other side of that perspective. |
| 1:05.0 | My husband and I have had a difficult couple of years. |
| 1:08.7 | Two years ago, I experienced something pretty traumatic. My way of |
| 1:13.0 | coping with it as an adult was not very healthy and it put a strain on my marriage that came to |
| 1:18.6 | a head about a year ago when we nearly separated. Thankfully, things are going much better now. |
| 1:24.4 | My marriage is in a better place thanks to couples therapy and I've been doing |
... |
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