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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the arches with me, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, Harriet Carmichael, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez-Pain.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with Alan, expressing mild curiosity about whether or not Lillian missed her dead mother.

He seemed a bit surprised when she said, yes.

Remind me again how Alan got his job.

Den said he'd always been proud of Brad, but he preferred being proud of him from a very long way away,

and then trotted off to church, lured by rogation and scones.

Eric the Essex Viking also appeared, lured apparently by the promise of Krusty and wellies and a hoodie,

and finding out what the hell rogation is.

Eric, although seemingly finding village life hilarious, could at least read the room, whereas

Den struggled. Brad did not want Den's help with the maths. He did not want him to sit next to him,

and he did not want to go for a drink. In fact, no, it's all right, I've got my water, is one of the

best burns I've ever heard, and I'm going to advise my daughter to use it when she's being

hit on. Den immediately found two women to, as he put it, look after him, which I suspect is his

normal modus operandi. Adam was out spreading pellets, which was somewhat distasteful. No idea why

he can't use a laboratory like everyone else, but he has to be different. Typically,

Adam has waded into this whole Rory thing and decided that he knows best for Brian, Alice, and Rory

himself. Hope we're all looking forward to the hand-wringing scene where Adam's wailing,

...