The Florida Porch Table Pooper
Distorted View Daily: NSFW Comedy, Weird News & Internet Oddities
Tim Henson
4.7 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 9 March 2022
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On Today’s Show: Introduction 0:00.000 I’m A Soda / Beverage High Today: The Return Of A 2000’s Favorite! 1:35.617 Murder Suspect Defends Himself In Court 9:18.000 Clit Stimulating Yourself Into a Vegetative State 15:00.857 Blowing Chunks While Blowing The D 15:52.895 One In The Stink And One In The Stink 16:20.000 Cupcakke-ifying More Songs 18:00.521 […]
The post The Florida Porch Table Pooper first appeared on Distorted View Daily.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Freaks, it's Wednesday, March 9th, 2022 coming up on the program today, dumb murderers |
| 0:06.1 | should not represent themselves in court. Plus, coming down with a bad case of pussy, |
| 0:11.5 | when a Kesha concert conflicts with your jail time and the case of the pickle-obsessed child-biting middle school teacher. |
| 0:18.0 | All this, what's your voicemails today? |
| 0:22.0 | Mommy, I want to ask you something. |
| 0:25.0 | What is it, dear? |
| 0:28.0 | What I wonder is, how did the baby get started in it? |
| 0:32.0 | Let me tell you how it is. |
| 0:35.0 | There's a special opening just in front of the place where you have your BM. |
| 0:40.0 | It's very, very tiny and a little girl, but as you grow, it grows too, right along with the rest of you. |
| 0:47.0 | Until when you're grown up, it gets to be just about this size. |
| 0:52.0 | The special opening that little girls have has a name the penis. |
| 0:57.0 | Now you know that little boys like our Johnny have a vagina. |
| 1:01.0 | When a boy grows up and is ready to be a father |
| 1:04.0 | he is able to put his |
| 1:06.0 | vagina into the penis |
| 1:08.0 | that special opening that mothers have. |
| 1:10.0 | Do you understand? |
| 1:12.0 | Yes, I think so, but if I forget it, you can always tell me again. |
| 1:18.0 | It's The Distorted View Show with Tim Hanson |
| 1:22.0 | Jam that baby maker deep inside my man, cunt. |
| 1:26.1 | At least I'm not going to die because I'm a careless fairy. |
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