The Financial and Emotional Cost of Choosing the Wrong Partner: Pattie Ehsaei’s Story of Survival and Power

Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin

Money News Network

Education, Self-improvement, Business

4.4 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 17 November 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Pattie Ehsaei’s life may look picture-perfect now—she’s a financial exec, lawyer, and author—but it’s been shaped by unimaginable tragedy. Pattie grew up watching her mom depend entirely on her dad financially, a dynamic that turned toxic and ended in unimaginable tragedy. Later, Pattie found herself in a financially abusive relationship of her own, repeating painful patterns until she broke the cycle. Today, she shares the lessons she’s learned about love, money, and power—wisdom she’s also laid out in her book, Never Date a Broke Dude. Nicole and Pattie talk about why who you choose as a partner is the biggest financial decision you’ll ever make, how stay-at-home parents can protect their financial autonomy, and how to spot the money red flags that don’t always look like red flags. And yes—they also get into why Pattie says you should never date a broke dude. Today’s episode contains descriptions of intimate partner violence and suicide. Please take care while listening. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, or is struggling with their mental health, here are some resources: Relationship Abuse Hotline: 800.799.SAFE National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-TALK (8255)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Here's one piece of advice that I've given for years. Build an emergency fund.
0:05.0	Aim to stash away enough to cover at least three months of expenses in case your income suddenly drops.
0:10.4	Sounds simple, right? But let's be honest, it's not.
0:13.6	Saving even one month's worth of living costs can feel impossible.
0:17.8	Just when you're making progress, that check engine light blinks on and derails
0:22.1	your plans. Life already throws enough curveballs. You don't need your bank adding to the chaos.
0:27.2	That's why it's so important to choose one that makes savings easy and doesn't nibble away
0:32.2	at your hard-earned money with ridiculous fees. Chime understands that every dollar counts.
0:37.4	That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free
0:41.3	features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit, and more.
0:47.3	With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in just two minutes at chime.com slash MNN. That's chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank, Bank, Bank, card provided by the Bank or Stryde Bank N.A.
1:12.1	Members FDIC.
1:12.8	Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply.
1:14.5	Timing depends on submission of payment file.
1:15.7	Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs.
1:16.8	Bank ranking and number of ATMs, according to U.S. News and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required. I live in L.A. now, but lately I have been craving the seasons. Snow, hot cocoa, the whole thing. I don't even ski, but I have been daydreaming about
1:28.3	working remotely from somewhere really cozy on the East Coast, like a cute little ski town for a
1:32.4	little bit. And whenever I know I'm going to be gone for a while, I always remind myself that
1:36.3	my home can actually be working for me while I'm away, because I host my space on Airbnb.
1:41.7	It is one of the easiest ways to earn passive income from
1:44.3	something you already have and that extra income feels particularly helpful this time of year
1:48.9	as we approach the holidays. A lot of my friends say that sounds amazing, but where do you find
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