You're invited to I Am The Cute One, the most chaotic school dance in the podcast universe.

Let's spiked the punch, grind to usher, and recap some of the cutest movies that need our millennial minds explode.

Hello, I am Donnie and I am The Cute One.

And I am Chelsea and I am The Cute One.

And today we are covering the face on the milk carton by Carolyn B. Cooney.

Cuties.

I had very vivid memories of loving this book.

And when we said we were covering this book so many of you were thrilled, ecstatic even.

And I'm here to sadly report, you have false memories of this book.

This was very long. It was a chore to get through.

It was a fucking chore and I made the mistake. I had audible credits.

And so I was like, oh, you know, I'm going to be driving a lot this week. It's the starting school.

I'm doing drop off, pick up all those things. I'll listen to this book. It made it so much worse.

I do have to admit that the last 20% of this book I did start reading it the way I read things when I don't like things.

And that is like a play, which means dialogue only.

Well, I think that that's part of the problem is the writing style of Miss Carolyn.

It was like a seventh grader who has just learned about similes and metaphors and is now making every single sentence like twice as long.

I wrote down the most egregious that like popped out at me.

Chapter one, I was like, oh, we are in for a doozy.

So the main character is talking about the weight of, you know, learning that she might have been kidnapped.

And this author describes it as she felt curiously heavy like the difference between whole milk and skim.

It's like, okay, number one, enough with the milk, enough with the dairy.

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