The Enabling Behaviors You Need to Stop Now
Love Over Addiction
Michelle Anderson
4.8 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 21 July 2019
⏱️ 7 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When we love someone suffering from addiction, we do our very best to help them. We try everything we can think of, read, or find on Google. We try it all. With the most pure and best intentions. We want our loved ones to get sober, and stay sober for good, right?
The reality is that all that energy we’re putting into our loved ones, we need to be putting into ourselves. Because addiction has hurt us too, and we deserve recovery. We deserve energy. We deserve grace.
Today you’ll learn about 12 behaviors you need to stop right now, today. And some of them may be harder than others, but you know that we’re honest in this community. I share loving truths with you to help your recovery and your healing, even when they may be hard to hear.
Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/stop-enabling-behaviors/
Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/
Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. Are you trying your very, very best to keep your family together despite this disease? |
| 0:26.0 | Are you feeling lonely and like nobody understands what it's like to love someone |
| 0:32.4 | suffering from addiction. Are you worried that you |
| 0:36.1 | can't stay but you're afraid to leave? Are you scared that they are going to die from addiction? Are you |
| 0:46.7 | secretly worried that they might be having an affair or that they love booze and drugs and pornography more than you. |
| 0:57.0 | Here's what I know about you. |
| 1:02.0 | You are trying to do all the right things. You are not lazy, you are not |
| 1:09.8 | in denial, you're willing to take this disease head on. You want to learn what to do that |
| 1:19.8 | will help and you want nothing more than for your loved one to get sober and turn into the |
| 1:26.3 | wonderful human being that you know they can be. So let's take a moment and recognize the work that you've done. |
| 1:37.0 | Let's give you the credit that you deserve. |
| 1:42.0 | You're trying. You've been trying for a very long time. But let me ask you a little |
| 1:48.0 | time. But let me ask you a question and it might sting a little but I'm your friend and we don't do judgment |
| 1:59.1 | You are safe here. You found your people |
| 2:08.9 | So here's my question. Are all the exhausting efforts you have made to save the one you love? Is it working? Have they stopped drinking or using drugs long term? |
| 2:20.7 | Because of something that you said or did? |
| 2:25.0 | Probably not. |
| 2:28.0 | The only way that someone gets sober is because they want to get sober. It's just that simple and |
| 2:40.0 | that frustrating. So let's redirect your efforts. All the energy and time that |
| 2:47.3 | you've put towards their recovery, you're going to stop that. So all that googling you've done at night on the ways to get |
| 2:56.7 | them sober or the labels that you've applied to help diagnose them, all the praying about them and asking God to cure them, |
| 3:07.0 | the dozens and dozens of conversations you've said to someone or in your head condemning them or painfully |
... |
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