Do you ever feel like you’re simply not in control of your emotions? You’re not alone. At times we may feel like our emotions are charging forward like a 6-ton elephant! And we’re simply the rider, trying out best to guide or control the elephant but without much success. But there is hope! Today Tony discusses the popular analogy The Elephant and the Rider, where our emotional part of the brain is represented by the elephant, and the logical, or rational part of our brain is played by the rider. Understanding this analogy can often lead to a little more understanding of how to quickly take control of our emotional response, and guide new behaviors. - Tony references the article The Elephant and the Rider https://www.creativehuddle.co.uk/the-elephant-and-the-rider as well as Itamar Goldminz’s article Advise the Rider, Steer the Elephant and Shape the Path (Heath) https://medium.com/org-hacking/advise-the-rider-steer-the-elephant-and-shape-the-path-heath-153b12003436 and he reads Marianne Williamson’s poem “Our Deepest Fear,” https://www.personalgrowthcourses.net/stories/williamson.ourdeepestfear.invitation and Tony reads from The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://amzn.to/3fIxBdW (https://amzn.to/3fIxBdW) - Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love.  Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. In today’s mini-episode Tony interviews Nate to find out a little bit more about Nate’s background, and what led him to create The Epic Wives Experiment. For more information visit http://tonysexperiment.com registration for the Epic Wives Experiment ends at midnight on May 17th. - Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ (http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/) and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours.