May I have your attention please you can now book your train tickets on Uber and get

10% back in credits to spend on your next Uber ride so you don't have to walk home in the rain again.

Trains now on Uber. T's and C's apply. Check the Uber app.

Do you guys ever read an article and before you get to the end of the first paragraph you've already sent it to someone because they need to see this article?

Yeah, it's called Twitter.

So the other day...

Only if it's about UFOs and then I send it to Shane.

So the other day I see an article in the Washington Post entitled, Like Living in a War Zone, Washington area residents say increased

helicopter traffic is giving them nightmares.

Oh God.

And I don't encourage her.

The land speed record on mailing this to Tammy, to which she responded in mere seconds.

With the sentence, I feel completely seen.

I feel seen. you Congress I feel seen to yeah because I just want to point out that you

guys are talking about low-flying helicopter and Shane is back and you know guys maybe he returned on a helicopter or a UFO

hashtag shains back

Shane is back

who whoa back. Bitch's Back Edition. Yes, that's right.

I've said, bitch. Yes, that's right.

I've been waiting to say it.

For two weeks.

Two weeks I've been away.

...