What's the fastest way to board an airplane?

I mean, you can't just throw open the gates like funneling cattle into a shoot.

That's not for us. We're primates, after all.

So let's put our monkey brains to work to tackle this cue, which is what boarding groups do. Prioritize plainly packing primates precisely, primarily.

Okay, we have a suggestion.

Pour people into the plane back to front.

This is an intuitive solution to fill a cylinder.

But there's almost a law of the universe that solutions which are the first thing you think of

and look sensible and are easy

to implement are often terrible ineffective solutions once implemented will drag on civilization forever.

Cough voting systems cough. So it should come as no surprise that this method is not good and

also what most airlines use to board their

planes. Let's watch it in action. The first boarding group walks to the back of the plane. Everything

is smooth, right until the first to go reaches their row and starts to stow. So, slow. And for

passenger too, while their seat is in view, there's nothing to do. The aisles one queue, where all cannot but stew stuck like glue until this guy's through.

Few.

It's bags.

Bags cause most of the delay boarding a flight.

Like with this, a full stop stow.

When it happens, everyone boarding the plane within and without must wait until one person finishes stowing their bag.

Can you feel it, the aggregate lost seconds of human life, piling up like a bounty for a delighted reaper?

Of course you can. You can feel it with every bag.

...