The Audience Is Gonna Hate Us w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.8 • 23.2K Ratings

🗓️ 18 August 2025

⏱️ 77 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets SPONSORS: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/BEARS and use code BEARS! #viiaparter Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another sugar-fueled Summer Bears meltdown—this time with bagels, tiramisu, and enough food guilt to keep a Catholic therapist booked for years. The boys break down Chris’ ChatGPT pep talk, reminisce about Stavvy's golden toothless years, and spiral into a deep dive on Neapolitan ice cream fraud, gay NFL cheerleaders, and the politics of bagel orders. Also: Chris reveals his VO2 Max results from a flamboyant fitness coach who may or may not have called him “zaddy.” 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 302 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:00 - 2 Pigs, 1 Pen 00:12:45 - Catholic Guilt Vs Greek Shame 00:23:33 - Sexual Awakenings In Mom's Bed 00:30:31 - A Demeaning Offer & ChatGPT Pep Talk 00:43:50 - Social Media & Rage For The Gays 00:52:01 - Men In Women's Sports 01:00:02 - Zaddy Chris Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, gang, I am going to be on tour starting this September.
0:04.2	I'm going to be in London, September 7th, second show added in London.
0:08.4	Then we're going to be in Dublin on September 12th.
0:11.9	After that, coming to America, November 6th in Memphis, then Huntsville, Alabama,
0:18.2	Chattanooga, Tennessee, Knoxville, Asheville, Greensboro, Wilmington,
0:24.0	and then Myrtle Beach, Classy Myrtle Beach, Austin and Boston.
0:28.5	And we will be adding more shows soon.
0:30.2	But if you want to come see me, please check me out there.
0:32.8	That's it, baby.
0:33.7	And then I will be the big one, September 5th, Chicago Theater, September 11th,
0:40.3	theater at Madison Square Garden, and then September 27th, Saudi Arabia, baby. So come see me.
0:45.7	I'm also in Boston in October. We've got shows lined up at the Wilbur, the Chevalier.
0:50.7	Just go to Chris D.comedy.com for Tikiwikis. Thanks for all the support.
0:54.9	100%.
0:56.0	Hello, everybody, and welcome to
1:01.9	Two Bears One Cave, Summer Bears Edition,
1:05.8	number five.
1:06.8	Wow.
1:07.5	With me, Stavros Halkis,
1:09.5	and my pal, Chris DeStefano.
1:11.7	That's it.
1:12.3	We're here.
	...

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