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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch

And in-depth look at the archers

With me, Harriet Carmichael, Lucy Freeman,

Jeff Thomas, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez-Pain

I did that all without script, Lucy.

Good girl.

Now, before we make a start on your email,

sitting in four years, we've been doing this.

Poor years, ladies and counting.

Now, before we make a start on your emails,

let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with a bit of sexual tension,

or possibly sexy tench, as the youth probably call it now,

between the reappeared Josh and Esme,

who for the first half of the week mostly came from Somerset before having a brief sojourn to the north of Scotland before settling

around the borders by Friday.

What?

Okay, sorry?

Carry on.

Josh grumbled away to his mother about having to do the milking until he clocked that Esme

sounded a little bit interested in him, whereupon he suddenly decided he would help her, sort the house out, listen to her chunter on about coffins and milk everything that moved.

...