The Anti-Anxiety Approach to Modern Dating
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 30 September 2025
⏱️ 51 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I’m joined by dating coach and author Sabrina Bendory to unpack the game-changing concept of detachment — a mindset that transformed her love life and coaching approach. We dive into the fear of ending up alone and how to move through it, what real confidence feels like, how to stop obsessing over texts or social media, break overthinking cycles, and advice for being the only single friend in your group.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation. |
| 0:07.7 | All right. |
| 0:08.6 | We have a guest today that is a return guest on seeing other people. |
| 0:13.0 | And when her name popped up on my phone, I was so excited. |
| 0:17.7 | And I think I responded like immediately. |
| 0:24.9 | Yeah, I felt so good. Yeah. Usually I'm like, I take four weeks to respond to emails. It's really bad. But I was so excited. I'm so happy for you. |
| 0:34.3 | You have a new book coming out. I'm getting ahead of myself. Sabrina Van Dori, welcome back to seeing other people. Oh, thank you so much. I'm so happy to be back. This is actually my first time as a repeat guest on a podcast. Wow. Okay, well, I love that that's happening here. This is like long overdue anyway. I mean, there's so much for us to talk about. But let's, first of all, the book, |
| 0:55.4 | detached, how to heal, let go and become irresistible coming out this month, September. |
| 1:00.3 | It's out. It's out. It's out. Incredible. This is not your first book. No, this is my third. |
| 1:15.5 | This is your third book, which is insane. |
| 1:20.7 | So I had you on when your last book came out, which was, remind me the name of it. |
| 1:21.7 | You're overthinking it. |
| 1:22.5 | Yes. |
| 1:23.3 | Yes. |
| 1:24.8 | That. |
| 1:31.4 | And I remember, I loved your story so much because I always ask like how people got into this. And your story was specific to like, I want to know everything about the way a guy thinks so that I can then, |
| 1:39.5 | like, date better, which I think is brilliant. Well, really, I wanted to date with the upper hand because I felt |
| 1:46.8 | like I was just being so consistently blindsided. And in my 22-year-old mind, I thought that if I could |
| 1:53.7 | understand men, then that would give me confidence and, like, self-worth because I would just, |
| 1:58.8 | I would just have that upper hand and that would make me |
| 2:02.0 | immune to being hurt. Now, obviously that was very misguided, but that's where I started at the time. |
| 2:07.1 | Did it help? It helped in that I felt much more empowered at first when I was dating because guys |
... |
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