The 4 Needs Every Child Has (That Modern Society Completely Ignores) | Gabor Maté

The Daily Motivation

Lewis Howes

Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 893 Ratings

🗓️ 1 November 2025

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Gabor Maté reveals the unhealed trauma most parents unconsciously pass to their children and breaks down the four essential needs modern society has forgotten—needs that determine whether kids grow up whole or wounded. This is the conversation every parent and future parent needs to hear.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.
0:11.5	I mentioned the work of Dan Siegel, Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist here in L.A.
0:15.8	He's written a book called Parenting from the Inside Out.
0:20.7	And it's about how parenting brings out your own stuff so that
0:25.6	so that deal with your own stuff first and and continue to deal with it as you have children
0:32.5	because you I guarantee you your kids are going to trigger you you know. And I didn't realize that as a parent.
0:39.9	So I visited my own traumas unto my kids.
0:45.2	Wow.
0:46.5	Because I wasn't working on myself at that time.
0:49.3	So do your own work.
0:51.2	Yes.
0:51.7	That's the first thing.
0:52.7	Do your own work.
0:53.4	Yeah.
0:54.5	When you're pregnant or when your partner is pregnant, do you work already?
0:58.7	Because already the stresses of the husband during the pregnancy will affect that infant in the womb.
1:04.8	The husband stresses will also affect the...
1:07.4	Yeah, because the mom takes on the stresses of the partner.
1:10.7	Right. So if you're stressing the mother, you're stressing the child. Exactly. Wow. also affect the yeah because the mom takes on the stresses of the partner right so
1:11.4	if you're stressing the mother you're stressing the child exactly wow okay
1:15.3	so it's a work on yourself that's the first thing okay then there are what a
1:21.7	great psychologist friend of mine Gordon Newfeld and I there's a chapter in this in the book
	...

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