Greetings and salutations. You've successfully arrived at the bloody disgusting network.

The passage of time will now bring you to something strange, unique, and idiosyncratic.

Have a good time.

A pitch.

Listen to this. This is the tape I found downstairs.

It has been a number of years since I began excavating the ruins of Kandar with a group of my colleagues.

Now my wife and I have retreated to a small cabin in the solitude of these mountains.

I believe I have made a significant find in the Kandarian

ruins, a volume of ancient Sumerian burial practices and funerary incantations.

It is entitled Notcheron de Monte, roughly translated Book of the Dead.

From the Narl Woods of Michigan to the Sun Kiss Skyline of LA.

We are Halloween!

You said I hope you understand when you read this letter that you're better off without me.

Cus around me is stormy weather, stormy weather.

Stormy weather. Storm weather.

It always surrounds me.

Greetings, trick-a-treaters,

Dreamers, campers, deadites, what do we say for screen, movie lovers, movie-buffs, I can't remember,

but my name is Dan Kurtzman-Caffrey and I am here in the K&B lab, I'm rigging up some some prosthetics I'm trying to figure out how to get this tube through my leg so it can pump blood to the arm that's going to get cut up for the chainsaw. It's a big old challenge. I don't know how to do it. I am of course talking about the special effects for the evil dead series. We are going to run down our 10 favorite effects from the series tonight,

but I'm not the only technician, I don't know if that's the right word, but Craftsman will say here in the K&B workshop, if I'm Kurtzman, I gotta have a Nicotero and the other guy too, so who do I have?

I can't just say in Chicago, who do I have who has an X files poster behind them right now.

Who's in the workshop with me?

...