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The Bert Show

Texting Tutor: She Needs Our Help Stealing Her Bike Back From The Thief!

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Entertainment News, Society & Culture, Comedy, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 24 September 2024

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

She needed our help texting a THIEF to recover her boyfriend’s stolen property...was she able to steal her e-bike BACK?! Here's what happened over the weekend.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Here, Bert Show.

0:01.4

So I'm having quite the morning where I'm being very, very complimented.

0:05.3

Earlier this morning, it was a publisher reaching out to me, believe it or not, over the weekend, saying, hey, one of your listeners tip me off about your murder mystery slash comedy in Cassie's place.

0:17.3

And we were listening to it, and it has the bones to be a novel. And I thought, A, first of all, who's pranking me? And then she gave me references and it was a real deal, real compliment. I wish we would have thought of that. That would have been amazing. But I mean, to be fair, I mean, Mo and I were hooked from the get-go. Like, you had the setup and then we had like a true typical murder mystery fashion. You had a really explosive chapter and then we got a little slow again because you have to reset things back up. And then we were just messing with you at the end when we walked out. You guys got my head man. You really did. As I was trying to read it, I'm watching you guys look at each other. I'm like, was there a huge plot hole that they're

0:54.2

mouthing to each other or something?

0:55.7

I started that.

0:56.7

Anyway, so that was earlier this morning, and no, that's probably not going to happen.

1:00.4

But this one might.

1:01.7

So I get this email also.

1:03.1

Hey, Bert, came across your profile, noticed your experience in content creation

1:07.4

and audience engagement strategies.

1:09.8

We have an opportunity for you as an

1:11.6

associate producer at CNN.

1:15.0

An associate producer, you say. Yeah. CNN audio on CNN in Atlanta, which pays, get this,

1:22.1

you guys, $91,000. May a second, what? Yeah, right? So if you guys... What benefits? I didn't ask. I would assume yes. I didn't ask yet. But yeah. So, the offer to write a book and now another job offer, Poppossom. The universe is looking out for you. Just an embarrassment of riches over there. So much talent, man.

1:45.2

I don't even know what to put it off.

1:47.1

Oh, to be a straight white man in America.

1:50.4

All right, let's get together with Emily here and get some closure here on texting

1:55.0

tutor.

1:55.6

Kristen, you want to recap this?

1:57.3

Yeah, so if you heard texting tutor last week, Emily hit us up because her boyfriend's e-bike was stolen

2:03.3

and she wanted to get it back.

...

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