4.8 • 25.7K Ratings
🗓️ 25 August 2025
⏱️ 80 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
0:00.0 | Bada being bad a boo. |
0:02.9 | Nobody likes to think of it as a statistical problem, but it is. |
0:07.3 | I mean, statistically speaking, if you have a daughter, by the time that she reaches 19 years old, |
0:11.8 | you're going to have approximately 187 phone calls that make your heart rate spike to 120 beats per minute or above. Typically, your heart |
0:22.6 | should beat between 60 to 100 beats per minute. 120 to 150 is a full-blown panic attack. |
0:29.4 | Chest pain, shortness of breath, that level of breathing. 187 calls statistically. And even |
0:37.1 | that can be broken down. First five years, you're going to have |
0:39.8 | 23 to 28 calls, high chances of unintentional injuries, falling, eating something that they shouldn't |
0:45.3 | be eating, high fevers. Now you're down to 159 calls, ages 6 to 10, 45 to 52 calls, playground |
0:52.7 | accidents, head lice, school nurse calls you, high fever, |
0:56.2 | alarming, those are common. Now you have 107 panic-inducing calls left, if you're lucky, |
1:03.1 | then they become a teenager, sports injuries, car accidents, mental health crises, |
1:07.6 | experimentation with alcohol and other drugs. and if you really want to get systematic |
1:11.2 | with this, you can even narrow this down to how much panic each call will bring you by the way that it |
1:16.9 | starts. Hi, is this Stephanie's mom? That's usually going to be a false alarm. Or mid-panic, fever, lice, |
1:24.9 | maybe pink eye, calls from other parents to tell you that your kid is absolutely |
1:29.5 | asinine, like that type of stuff. But if it starts, don't panic, but that's probably a white |
1:36.1 | knuckle event. They broke their leg. Something bad is happening, but they're alive. Now, when a call |
1:41.6 | starts with your full legal name or your child's full legal name, surgery, police |
1:46.6 | officer, those are like the existential dread category of calls. |
1:52.0 | But there is one tier above it. |
1:55.0 | Most parents don't even get these calls, which is when your daughter's stalker calls. |
... |
Transcript will be available on the free plan in 27 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Stephanie Soo, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Stephanie Soo and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.