Some fucking birds have been shitting all over where basically my window is and I caught one of them

strategically positioning themselves to aim their shit right at the like the window sill is that the word in English and I was looking at it and it kind of made eye contact with me and it's shit regardless

And I'm just wondering what have I done against this fucking thing

Like we made it like it was awkward because I was looking at it. It was looking at me.

Well okay maybe I'm over analyzing

anthropomorphizing this poor bird.

You're like a Disney princess except they hate you.

Exactly right. Oh my God.

I don't know, birds are weird to me.

Birds are very weird.

The way they look at you, the way they're like head and neck gyrates whenever they move it to the left or the right.

They look like robots like dinosaur robots from Ali Express you know?

It's just lower quality hit dinosaurs.

I was going to ask, have either of you guys been shit on by birds?

No, not on me, but they always find a way to shit on the handle, like the door handle of my car.

So I have to...

A bird has never sat on you.

Are you fucking kidding?

You're like the unluckiest person on planet Earth.

It's like whenever a bird shits on you,

that's like great luck and prosperity

for the family or whatever the fuck.

...