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The Addicted Mind Podcast

TAM+ EP79 Why Fighting Your Pain Might Be Making It Worse: The Power of Creative Hopelessness

The Addicted Mind Podcast

Duane Osterlind, LMFT

Health & Fitness, Medicine, Mental Health

4.8621 Ratings

🗓️ 31 July 2025

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if everything you've been told about overcoming your struggles is backwards? What if the very act of fighting your anxiety, depression, addiction, or trauma is actually making it worse?

In this powerful episode, Duane and Eric dive into one of the most revolutionary concepts in recovery and mental health: creative hopelessness. This isn't about giving up on your life or your future. It's about giving up on something that's been sabotaging you all along - the belief that you need to control how you feel to have a good life.

If you've tried therapy after therapy, read every self-help book, downloaded every meditation app, and still find yourself stuck in the same painful cycles, this episode is for you. You'll discover why your best efforts to feel better might be keeping you trapped, and learn a radically different approach that could change everything.

Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Duane and Eric explore the "DOTS" framework - the four main ways we try to control our internal experiences (Distraction, Opting out, Thinking, and Substances/self-harm). They'll walk you through the five steps of creative hopelessness and show you how to shift from an exhausting control agenda to a liberating acceptance agenda.

This isn't about becoming passive or giving up hope. It's about redirecting your precious energy from fighting an unwinnable war with your own mind toward building the meaningful life you actually want. You'll learn why the goal isn't to feel better, but to live better - and how that shift can transform everything.

Download: Worksheet Creative Hopelessness

Whether you're struggling with addiction, anxiety, depression, or trauma, this episode offers a compassionate, research-backed approach that honors your pain while opening the door to genuine freedom. It's time to stop drowning in your own rescue attempts and discover what's possible when you let go of the struggle.

Key Topics

Creative Hopelessness Explained: What it means to give up the agenda of emotional control without giving up on life

The DOTS Framework: Four common control strategies (Distraction, Opting out, Thinking, Substances/self-harm)

The Five-Step Process: How to work through your own creative hopelessness journey

The Control vs. Acceptance Agenda: Why fighting your feelings often makes them stronger

Psychological Flexibility: Learning to stay present while taking values-based action

The Paradox of Recovery: Why letting go of control can lead to greater freedom

Practical Application: Moving from "feeling better" to "living better"

Timestamps

[00:01:00] - The drowning metaphor: Why fighting might be pulling you under

[00:05:00] - Defining creative hopelessness and the agenda of emotional control

[00:11:00] - Introduction to the DOTS framework for identifying control strategies

[00:15:00] - The five steps of the creative hopelessness process

[00:19:00] - The beautiful paradox: Opening the door to acceptance

[00:22:00] - Shifting from "feeling better" to "living better"

[00:24:00] - Resources and next steps for listeners


Download: Worksheet Creative Hopelessness

Join our Deep Dive in our TAM+ community, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Register Here: https://theaddictedmind.com/deepdive


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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California, Idaho, Florida, Virginia or Texas and are looking for counseling or therapy, please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Addicted Mind Plus, the podcast where recovery, mental health, and wellness take the front seat.

0:07.3

I'm Dwayne Austerland, and joining me is my co-host, Eric Osterland, known for his insightful work on the Stuck Brain podcast.

0:14.3

In each episode, we'll dive into actionable, small steps to help those in recovery journey further along the path to wellness.

0:22.3

Our conversations are designed to be concise, typically around 15 minutes, though we may

0:26.9

occasionally delve deeper when the topic demands it. Our goal to provide you with practical

0:31.9

advice grounded in real experiences and expert insights to empower your recovery journey.

0:38.6

So whether you're on a break, on a walk, or just taking a moment for yourself, join

0:42.6

us as we explore the many facets of recovery and mental health, one small step at a time.

0:48.4

This is The Addicted Mind Plus, where your journey to wellness gets an extra boost, so let's

0:53.5

get started.

0:55.8

So picture this.

1:04.9

You're drowning and every instinct is telling you to fight, to struggle, to kick, harder.

1:06.7

Just keep going.

1:15.6

But what if I was to tell you that the very act of fighting, that thrashing, that panic, the desperate attempts to stay afloat is actually the very thing that's pulling you under.

1:21.5

What if the path to saving your life meant doing the one thing that goes against every fiber of your being.

1:29.9

And that's letting go of the struggle. So today, we're going to dive into one of the most

1:36.5

counterintuitive yet powerful concepts in recovery and mental health. It's something called creative hopelessness.

1:46.2

And I know what you're thinking.

1:48.0

Hopelessness, that sounds like the last thing I need right now.

1:51.2

But stay with me here because what we're talking about isn't about giving up on your life or your future.

1:59.4

It's about giving up on something that's been sabotaging you

2:02.9

all along. All right, everyone, welcome to another episode of the Addictor Mind Plus. My name's Dwayne

...

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