how are you this morning I'm good how are you I'm good why'd you laugh I don't

know because I it's almost like my mind went blank oh I thought you were

like saying you weren't good no I feel good I'd like meditated this morning

as success I successfully meditated and what does that mean it means I don't

roll my eyes on the inside yeah while my eyes are closed on the outside I see I'm

doing this meditation that someone recommended like I can't people who

meditate without anything on the background like like a guy without a

guided meditation to me are monks but she yes I mean this guided meditation and

what came up for me was like I will fantasize the past so much and I need to

romanticize the future and trust that the future is just is gonna be okay if

not better than the past I feel like I live in the past so much like I just

I've been having like so many dreams about like past people in my life there's

a fear I think of letting go of like do you feel like you are a nostalgic

person I am but I'm less and less so all right yeah if you found out a way to

do that I think because I know that everything is so fleeting and this is

gonna end that I just need to live in it and be okay here I mean I think what

most people do which is a problem which I also definitely used to do was like

future surf what's future surf living for the future basically like when I

get this I'll be happy then or I need this to feel happy and so I have to aim

you know it's all about what you don't have and what you might have in the

future as opposed to what you currently have and who you currently have in your

life and so I think I've got much better about that in fact sometimes the

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