Supercommunicators | 1. How to Talk to Anyone

Slow Burn

Slate Podcasts

News, Society & Culture, History, Documentary, Politics

4.6 • 25.1K Ratings

🗓️ 22 February 2025

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here… In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life. He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.” This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators. Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob. Joel Meyer is our supervising producer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	So, Nick, let me start with this.
0:04.0	When is the last time you cried in front of another person?
0:08.2	Starting right away at the top.
0:10.4	I see.
0:11.6	Last time I cried in front of another person was actually just a few days ago when my wife
0:16.2	showed me a video of our daughter in her second grade class reading her favorite book to her classmates.
0:23.8	This is Nick Epley, a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago.
0:28.3	And the reason I'm asking him this question is because he himself has forced thousands of strangers
0:33.2	to sit down and ask and answer this question of each other.
0:36.2	And what he's found is pretty interesting.
0:38.9	Imagine, for example, that you're on an airplane,
0:41.9	and the stranger next to you turns to you and they ask you,
0:45.2	when's the last time you cried in front of another person?
0:47.6	How do you think you'd feel at that moment?
0:49.9	My guess is probably a little apprehensive, right?
0:53.1	Now imagine I told you that you have to be that stranger, asking someone else that question.
0:58.6	How would you feel then?
1:00.0	Terrified?
1:01.4	Probably.
1:02.7	But my goal over the next 30 minutes is to show you why asking this kind of question is actually a great idea.
1:10.6	I want to convince you that you should
1:12.3	be asking these kinds of questions to your coworkers, to your family members, to the strangers
	...

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