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Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Stretched Too Thin

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Melissa Radke

Eatcake, Religion & Spirituality, Redribbon, Eatcakebebrave, Ordinarypeople, Christianity, Thissucksbutgodisgood, Thissucks, Comedy, Ordinarypeopleordinarythings, Melissaradke

51.3K Ratings

🗓️ 14 May 2019

⏱️ 47 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Are you trying to juggle work, family, home and all of your obligations? Too often we try to do everything and please everyone and end up feeling guilt or shame for not being able to do it all. My guest today has practical tips and advice for any of us who feel like we are stretched too thin. It’s such a pleasure to have Jessica Turner on the show today.

Jessica is a wife, mom, sister, friend, marketing professional, blogger and best-selling author of the books The Fringe Hours and Stretched Too Thin. In this episode, we talk about her new book. We also talk about why some moms who work-at-home don’t really consider themselves working moms. We talk about automating, prioritizing, getting help, and giving yourself permission to say no. We talk about those important things that we all need to do to help keep ourselves sane and at our best.

Show Notes:

  • [05:25] It's still a tug-of-war with working moms and stay-at-home moms. Working is bringing in an income.
  • [06:11] Women who work at home don't see themselves as working moms.
  • [07:03] Women who work from home often don't want to call themselves working moms. Maybe it's because of some type of social stigma.
  • [09:00] A lot of stay-at-home working moms think that if they don't technically get in their car and go somewhere that they aren't a working mom.
  • [09:30] Jessica went to Melissa's book signing in Nashville.
  • [10:00] Melissa thinks Jessica's book is for busy moms not just "working" moms.
  • [10:16] Jessica surveyed 2000 women who work or bring in some type of income. Stay-at-home moms who feel stretched too thin will get a lot of value out of the book.
  • [12:45] Jessica writes about boundaries with work, practicing meaningful relationships, self-care, managing the home, and more.
  • [13:03] Her research shows that the greatest struggle for working moms is either self-care or managing the home.
  • [13:26] Self-care is probably a little bit more of a struggle and that's what Jessica's first book was about.
  • [13:43] Women are great at taking care of everyone else.
  • [14:17] Self-care is necessary and important and it shows our kids that they need to take care of themselves too.
  • [14:55] Self-care includes investing in your passion, investing in your body, and spiritually and emotionally.
  • [15:16] Try time tracking and see where your time is going.
  • [16:40] Track everything you do for a week and how much time you spend on it.
  • [17:10] See where you spent your time and where you can spend your time better. Also notice if you said yes to too many things.
  • [18:37] Jessica tries to live by the "if it isn't a heck yes then it's a no."
  • [19:32] Sometimes even having to pause is a sign that it's not the right time for you.
  • [19:50] It's easier to say no from the beginning then you say yes to something and have to backtrack.
  • [21:23] Just because something's a great thing, it's not a great thing for you right now.
  • [22:58] Working moms often get left out. It can be hurtful to not be invited. Sometimes working moms want to be included. Let your friends know you still want to be included.
  • [27:57] Subscription services. Automating our lives is an easy way to streamline. This can free up your mind and lesson the mental load.
  • [30:22] House cleaners and services like Grove Collaborative can be helpful. It's life giving and helps other businesses.
  • [32:40] The world will fight for your time, and you have to fight back.
  • [33:32] Mother's can have friends. It's important to model relationships for our kids. It's a life giving shift.
  • [34:30] Glass balls vs rubber balls. Glass balls will shatter if dropped. Treat yourself like a glass ball not a rubber ball. Spend time where it is important. Relationships and self-care are glass balls.
  • [37:29] Think about how you are feeling and use it as motivation to make changes in your life.
  • [38:04] Often, we push our feelings aside instead of using them for change.
  • [40:44] Jessica answers the three questions...
  • [45:03] Women need to be empowered to not feel guilt and shame and take time for self-care.

Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi y'all, you're listening to ordinary people, ordinary things, with me your host, Melissa Radke,

0:06.7

the ordinariest of us all. Here's a vulnerable sentence to share with you. I was sitting in my counseling session the other day.

0:21.0

I'm laughing because any time you start a sentence off with I was

0:25.4

sitting in my counseling session the other day but I'm sharing this just to

0:29.9

show you guys okay so as I was talking to her I was just so angry I was sharing this with

0:35.2

my counselor and I was so angry at myself for something and I had gotten lazy and I

0:40.0

had dropped the ball on something because that's what I do, you know.

0:42.8

I dropped balls and things fall through because Melissa got lazy.

0:46.8

And so she goes, let's see.

0:49.2

I was like, what?

0:50.2

And my counselor goes, let me see.

0:51.5

Show me your calendar. Let's see how lazy you were.

0:54.0

And so I did. I showed her how lazy I had been because something I needed to get done, didn't get done, and there I was in her office berating myself for it.

1:03.6

Except, actually, if you looked at my calendar, it was full, chalked completely

1:09.8

full of work and responsibilities and podcasts and conference calls and writing and picking up Remy from Cheer

1:16.4

or getting Rocco to baseball practice or out-of-town sports on the weekends or I

1:20.9

appointments. Oh, got to get that braces appointment. God,

1:23.2

I had dinner with my parents.

1:24.4

Got to pick up their prescriptions. And I realized that the problem wasn't, I was

1:28.7

lazy. The problem came when because I couldn't do it all, I felt shame and anger with myself for dropping the ball.

1:37.0

In trying to juggle 100 spinning plates, I dropped one.

1:41.0

Never mind that I kept 99 of them moving. I had dropped one. Shame on me. And you, because you feel this way too, no doubt, stretched too thin. You know it's interesting how we shake our heads at our children and their

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