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Well having fun and laughing together as a couple those are great gifts for a

marriage, but telling a joke at your spouse's expense could cause months or maybe

years of damage control and difficulty. I'm John Fuller joined by my friends

and colleagues here at Focus on the Family Greg and Aaron Smolley and Greg

and the counseling you do sarcasm which I've heard referred to as a spiritual

gift. I mean people are being a little bit hyperbolic on that. There'd be a

little sarcastic. Well I think so, but it's really sarcasm can be lethal to a

relationship. And this was a problem early on in our marriage because even growing

up being around friends my brother and father we just we kind of prided

ourselves on that banter and kind of one uping one another and it became

rather sarcastic. We always interpreted that as a more of a sign of love

weirdly enough and yet my goodness that did not work at all on any level within

my marriage. And quite honestly I had to really check the motives behind some

of the sarcasm really on in our marriage. I think that kind of those snarky

comments really are often used more as a gentler insult in a way to kind of

...