If I want reality to be different than what it is, I might as well try and teach a cat to bark.

And I can try and try and cry and try and cry and try and at the end of the day or a month or a year

The cat will look up at me and say, This is from a book called Loving What Is that I'm reading right now. I was

recommended this book by a dear friend and it's mind-blowing to me.

Oh my God, I think her name's Byron Katie,

maybe not, whatever, it's called Loving Wood is and chapter one talks all about

surrendering and not fighting what is and making and truly loving what is.

And she used that analogy of fighting with reality is like attempting to teach a cat to bark.

It's pointless, it causes immense suffering and when, and there's something really, really freeing about accepting your reality at this moment in time.

There's something really, really powerful in that.

It's funny, I was getting and I'm trying not to read comments too much for my mental state, but I was of course, you know, your brain goes to the couple bad ones and, you know, of course there were the comments like,

how are you so happy? Why are you so happy? You're separated like wow you seem happy.

Like are you mad at me because I'm accepting my reality?

Was it what I thought it was going to be no?

Have I experienced a lot of pain throughout this relationship and during the separation?

Yes.

But I'm really actually proud of myself and my ability to get into

radical acceptance of what is. It's almost there's this freedom that comes with just

accepting you know who he is having this time apart has been really really eye opening I'm seeing

a lot of my part in the situation. I'm seeing a lot of my co-dependency and my

depending on him to make me happy. Or if he was in a bad mood, I was in a bad mood. If he was mad, I was sad. If he was angry, I was resentful. It was like we were so co-dependent and then it got really, really bad and I believe it needed to get that bad.

And then I had this sort of moment of clarity

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