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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the archers with me, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez-Pain.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with Pip and Hannah eating something disgusting

Hannah had found in her jacket pocket from a year ago. Then a very bewildering bit in which

Pip and Stella were curled up on the sofa chatting over a glass of wine about the fact

they don't see each other and whether or not they wanted to go on a cruise. When Hannah suddenly

spoke, what the hell? Was she sitting in between them? Does she just sit in a corner watching?

This is all very unsettling. What the hell goes on over there? Anyway, they then had a nice romantic lunch in which they, as always, talk to each other like two people on a park bench you've just met.

David and Ruth had their usual romantic conversation,

the kind of thing that makes people who aren't yet shacked up shudder. Do you want to go to the pub?

Can't be bothered. No, neither can I. Should we do something for Valentine's? No, let's save

some cash instead. Oh, it makes the heart sing. There was then a tedious farce about them both

booking a table.

Stella was being very weird about a cheesecake which Cleo ate, which it turned out included an engagement ring.

Well, I guess start as you mean to go on and proposing to Pitt with a ring covered in poo is probably an excellent indicator of their future life together.

Pip accepted the proposed in her usual graceless fashion with the sort of offhand response you'd make to someone offering you half a crunchy.

They popped over to Brookfield to share the good news and there was a lot of unnecessary grunting which was something to do with a silage clamp, I hope.

The ball is planning Vesnizn Terrine and Beef Wellington for Valentine's Day.

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