Still Stuck on Your Ex | This is Why

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 25 August 2025

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Closure isn’t a door you wait to have slammed shut - it’s a bridge you build. In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim breaks the biggest “closure” myths and shows you how to move forward without an apology, a perfect explanation, or one last text. If you’ve felt stuck in relationship residue, this is your map. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “waiting for closure” keeps you stuck Acceptance over answers (and why that heals faster) How to generate closure without contact Turning an expired relationship into a stronger self Realism > idealism: healing as a process, not an event Community & service as fuel for resilience If this helped, follow the show on Spotify and share it with someone who needs it today. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I think so many people are busy trying to rip out chapters of their marriage, you know, of whatever
0:05.6	happened that was chaotic. And listen, we don't have to live there. I'm not saying to live there,
0:10.7	but you have to accept what happened because that's how you move forward. And also by not ripping
0:17.3	out that chapter in your story, it becomes important to your journey, who you're
0:23.3	becoming to it. Our story is the most valuable thing we will ever own. And so if you're busy
0:27.8	ripping out chapters because of toxic relationships or whatever went down, you're devaluing
0:34.3	your story, you know? And also it's keeping you stunted and stuck.
0:38.1	You're not moving forward.
0:40.0	The first key to moving forward is acceptance, right?
0:47.0	I'm John Kim, a licensed therapist who used to be a miserable fuck before going on a hero's journey
0:52.0	and turning expired relationships into revelations.
0:55.5	I use my story to help others come with you instead of at you, unrehearsed on purpose,
1:01.8	because self-help doesn't have to be polished or complicated, just honest.
1:20.2	Hey, I came across this article, and if you believe in serendipity like I do, you're meant to hear this.
1:29.2	So if you ended up here watching this on YouTube or listening as a podcast, you were meant to hear this today because I randomly came across this and there's something in me that needed to share it. So I trust that greater feeling.
1:35.9	Also, if you're new here and you're like, why are you always shirtless and sweaty?
1:41.3	Well, we just, our house burned down in a fire six months ago, and I'm going through
1:46.4	my own ag break. We moved to Costa Rica, and it doesn't require a shirt or underwear. You don't
1:53.8	wear some clothes, but it's always 80 and humid. So shirts just make me feel very claustrophobic. This is not a fitness channel.
2:04.4	I don't wear a shirt because I'm in the jungle. Closure is a bridge, not a door. I don't know if
2:12.0	you're going through a relationship or not. If you're not, a lot of us, we carry relationship residue. There's a lot of misconceptions about
2:20.7	closure. I wrote a book called Breakup on Purpose, and a lot of that book is shattering myths about
	...

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