If you've got young adult children, it's really hard to see them make decisions that you don't agree with.

Sometimes you want to step in and you want to say, hey, wait a minute, you shouldn't do that, but there are many times when silence is the best thing you can do for that child.

I'm John Fuller along with Dr. Danny Werta who heads up our parenting team here

at Focus on the Family and we're going to hear a clip now from Brenda Garrison as she shared

with Focus President Jim Daly about a really strained relationship with her daughter

Katie and Brenda shared about a time when things changed in their relationship and

how things are today.

Brenda, it's really important for a parent to know how to ratchet down.

I think it's very hard to do.

Obviously reading the word, trusting in the Lord, praying for that child are all right spiritual

things to do. But practically speaking, then, you're doing all that. The Lord getting a hold of your tongue and your heart.

Talk to us for a minute about that and how over time you became better at it.

Because I would think for most parents, that's the core problem, is you just speak as quickly

as it comes to you without thinking about the shame you might be giving your child the message of inadequacy

that you're giving your child

and you in the attempt to help them be better decision-makers

you're actually loading on more obstacles for them to be able

to make those decisions because they secretly now are walking away in their harder hearts

thinking maybe mom's right maybe I'm not that, maybe I don't know what I'm doing,

maybe I don't have that wisdom. So they begin that self-doubt. Where did God really work on you to kind of get a hold of that responsiveness that you had.

First, it goes back to the one-liner, without relationship you have nothing.

He showed me without relationship

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