Welcome to the Love, Honor, and Vacuum Start Your Engines Podcast. The last Thursday of every month I like to do a podcast where I'm aiming more at men.

I'm Sheila Ray Greguer from to love honor and vacuum.com where we like to talk about how to make marriage a passionate adventure and not just a giant to-do list and while I normally

talked to women you know there's a lot of stuff that relates to guys to and so

after being asked for so long to do a podcast for guys I decided to take that on a few months ago, so welcome to start your

engines. I have a reader question I'm going to tackle first and then I'm actually

going to turn the most of this podcast over to some of the guys who are on the blog. My

husband, my son-in-law, both of whom work with me and they've got some great

wisdom for you too. But first I want to tackle a reader question that I think is

amazing and that fits in so much with what we've been talking about on the blog lately.

So a guy writes in and says,

My wife loves your podcast and gets excited whenever she hears something new to try.

But once we get in the bedroom, she's like a different person.

She gets very scared and says that she doesn't know how to be intimate with me.

I've tried telling her what I like, but she takes it as if she's done

something horribly wrong rather than as a learning opportunity. She'll make an

exaggerated attempt to please me which feels forced. I usually stop her and ask if she's okay, which makes

her scared that she might have done something wrong. Even when I'm trying to

please her, it's come to the point where she is terrified of me noticing she

isn't enjoying herself, so she'll try to fake her way through it, hoping I don't notice.

I know what turns her on, but it seems that she can't allow herself to get to that point anymore because of her worry about messing up. Sex has

become something she fears. I only want for her to say that I care deeply about her

and I want to share in this important part of our marriage together, but I can't seem to do that without her looking as if she's being berated.

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