Stacey Heale: The Aftermath of the Aftermath

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

Everything Happens Studios

Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture

4.8 • 4.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When Stacey Heale’s husband, Greg, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, life became a blur of caregiving, grief, and trying to hold a family together with two small children and no time to waste. Overnight, Stacey became a caregiver, medical advocate, emotional buffer, and the person holding all the impossible pieces.

In this tender and fiercely honest conversation, Stacey and Kate talk about what it means to love someone all the way to the end, and then somehow keep living. They explore the invisible labor of caregiving, the loneliness of anticipatory grief, and the weird sacredness of the small things that break you. There are no perfect endings here. Just the beauty and brutality of trying to live inside a love that doesn’t get to last.

Heads up: There’s some strong language in this episode—because sometimes life is just too much for tidy words.

In this conversation, Kate and Stacey discuss:

Why we grieve the ordinary things like school plays and grocery store noodles
What it means to love someone without believing in soulmates
The quiet devastation of living in the “before and after”
The strange glow of early grief and what happens when it fades

If you liked this episode, you’ll also like:

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:07.3	female founder, a show where I chat with female entrepreneurs and friends about the sleepless nights,
0:12.8	the lessons learned, and the laser focus that got them to where they are today. And through it all,
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0:43.9	Tired of the same old political shouty matches and talking points looking for thoughtful conversations that go beyond the headlines and help you understand issues that matter i'm sarah
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0:54.9	because democracy deserves more than hot takes. Join us as we approach politics and current events
0:59.7	with curiosity, empathy, and a commitment to understanding the bigger picture. If you want to stay
1:03.9	informed without the anxiety, we're the show for you. New episodes drop on Tuesdays and Fridays.
1:08.7	Subscribe to Pantsuit Politics wherever you get your podcast.
1:19.4	When we talk about love, we're usually handed the polished version, the kind that fits
1:25.2	neatly inside a Valentine's Day card or a romantic comedy montage.
1:30.3	But what happens when love walks us right into the fire?
1:34.9	What if the person you love most gets sick and you're left holding all the impossibilities,
1:41.4	the diagnoses, the kids, the paperwork, the grief that starts long before the end.
1:48.3	This is Everything Happens, and I'm Kate Bowler. Today's conversation is with writer Stacey Heel.
1:55.7	Her husband Greg was an artist and musician. They had a toddler and a brand new baby. Life should have just been
2:02.9	starting. And then her husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. And suddenly, Stacy is thrust
2:10.2	into the unthinkable. She writes about this in a gorgeous, pulls no punches memoir called,
	...

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