4.9 • 3.4K Ratings
🗓️ 17 April 2023
⏱️ 105 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
“This show is just about you and me being assholes,” says Kelly about the latest episode of ‘Dance Moms,’ where the girls prepare for and perform in Abby’s annual recital, which Kelly and Christi both admit is incredible. Less incredible is the girls’ ability to dance hip-hop, and since Paige’s foot is still broken she has to figure out how to dance from the waist up. Abby brings Payton in to join the “Light My Fire” group number, which means Leslie is back and lashing out at everyone. She tells Kelly she needs to be in both therapy and AA. Knowing she is being set up by producers to look like a fool yet again, Kelly storms out and Christi curses at producers in her defense.
She is also put in charge of gathering together the ALDC alumnae class of 1985, even though most of Abby’s former students want nothing to do with her. She also has to throw a party in which Cathy crashes and tries to steal one of Abby’s potential new students. The more fun task was playing guest bartender with Christi at a local club and seeing Jill get wild with patrons. Holly, of course, refused to step behind the bar.
Since this was the first recital since the show had aired, the audience was suddenly packed with adoring fans. Christi describes the feeling of hearing everyone go wild for the girls when they took the stage for their first number. She also explains why for years, she found countless pairs of underwear under the seats of her car.
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0:00.0 | Baby, let's just dance dance, let's just dance. Baby, I just wanna dance dance dance dance dance dance dance. |
0:07.0 | Can you feel it? Can you take it? Can you come and freeze it? |
0:12.0 | All of it, electricity. Do we ride now? |
0:16.0 | Bop, bop, bop, now? Turn the volume off, laugh, give me a electricity. |
0:21.0 | Hey you bitchettes, welcome back to the bar. This is bitch number one, Kristi. |
0:25.0 | We are here ready to entertain you, make your Mondays better. |
0:32.0 | At least that's what you tell me. I don't know how we make them better. |
0:36.0 | I don't know how it makes my Monday worse. |
0:39.0 | Fucking a living all this shit. |
0:41.0 | We usually don't record on a Monday, but we're actually recording on a Monday this time. |
0:46.0 | Yeah, I can either pay to my ass. |
0:49.0 | Oh my god, Kelly. Changing our dates. |
0:52.0 | You have been an exemplary human for putting up with my... |
0:57.0 | Yes. I'm like, wow, I'm supposed to film today, but Kristi changed it. |
1:01.0 | And I'm like, oh, was she changed to Monday? |
1:04.0 | And I was supposed to do 11 and I should change to two. |
1:07.0 | All right, but look, at the end of this month, I will be done in idiotic New Orleans. |
1:15.0 | And I'll be home. Look, I'm home right now. I'm ready for my office for like a day. |
1:20.0 | You're home for like one day. |
1:22.0 | Yeah, I got home last night. I leave Wednesday morning. |
1:25.0 | So I'm actually home for like, let's see, two days, 48, yeah, two and a half. |
1:31.0 | Like, if you count that I get to sleep in my bed three nights. |
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