Hi, this is Dana Stevens, Slate's movie critic, and I'm here with the Slate Spoiler Special of Australia,

the new Baslerman, Epic, Romance, Drama, Western Comedy, Tragedy, War Movie, Every Movie, and none of them well.

And my guest today is Tanner Colby. Hi, Tanner. Hi, Dana. He is the author of The Chris Farley Show

and my constant and faithful spoiler companion.

Always here to help.

And unfortunately, we seem to be hitting a bad run of movies lately.

So Australia, you wanted to take it away with the plot summary? This would be the bottom of the barrel.

I'm betting this is the Oscar turkey this year, the big studio Oscar bait that doesn't get a single nomination.

Because I can't imagine what you

would nominate it for.

Maybe something technical.

But anyway, so let's start at the top.

So we begin?

The plot is out of Africa, period.

I mean, that's all you need to know.

It's out of Africa.

A wealthy European aristocrat has to go down to Australia to manage her husband's, in this

case a ranch instead of a coffee plantation.

But she's got to go down and handle his ranch and she meets this rustic...

She's Nicole Kidman, we should say.

She's Nicole Kidman, and she meets this, you know, rough and tumble cattle driver named the drover, played by Hugh Jackman.

And in Australia, they don't drive their cattle, they drove their cattle.

...