Hi, everyone. Continuing our TED Audio Collective Friday series, something a little different today, an episode from our new podcast, Ted Business, featuring psychologist, researcher, and author Susan David. If you enjoy it, find Ted Business wherever you're listening to this.

I cried in a group meeting with four of my colleagues a few months ago. Most of them I've

known, worked with, and taught with for the past seven years. I know these people really,

really well. But it was the first time I actually cried in a meeting with them.

And I'm not saying crying is the gold standard, something we should or shouldn't do in organizations.

But it was really interesting to me that I'd finally let my guard down.

So let me tell you the situation. I was sharing some feedback on things we could do better in the classroom.

And honestly, in sharing that feedback, I was very nervous because often in my research

and in other research, it's very clear that feedback is often met with defensiveness.

And what happened when I gave the feedback?

Defensiveness.

So quite frankly, I was angry and I was frustrated. I literally could

feel my jaws clenching up, my hands growing sweaty, and my heart starting to palpitate because

I really wanted to say, hey, you're being defensive. Stop being defensive, just listen to what I have

to say, but I didn't say anything. And the conversation continued and it

continued and the tenseness in my body grew, grew even tighter. And I thought to myself,

wait a minute, I'm angry and frustrated. These emotions matter. I need to say something. I need to say

something right now. And so I did. And as I was saying it, the tears

started flowing. Typically, I would beat myself up about not having emotional control or expressing

my emotions inappropriately by crying. But this time, I didn't do either of these things. You

might ask, should I have? What is the right way to engage

with our emotions at work? Welcome to TED Business. I'm Medupa Akinola, a professor at Columbia

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