Should I kiss before marriage?

Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

J.D. Greear

Christianity, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 624 Ratings

🗓️ 5 November 2018

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Pastor J.D. shares his thoughts on dating and courtship, as well as some helpful guidelines for appropriate displays of affection before marriage.

A glimpse inside this episode:

* Courting vs. Dating

* Why I don’t agree with courting: Courting goes beyond the Bible teaches; it is inconsistent (e.g. giving flowers can be sexual); and it puts unhealthy pressure on dating when you court. But we can learn from the idea of courting.

* But I think we should keep dating light

* Dating is a road that is leading toward marriage.
* Dating is best when it is non-exclusive, non-physical, non-escalating (especially when you're younger).

* Appropriate show of affection vs. foreplay

* Lynn’s Laws (from Pastor J.D.'s father):

* Nothing in the dark
* Nothing should last longer than 5 seconds
* Nothing below the neck
* Never lie down

Transcript

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0:00.0	Lifeway Leadership Podcast Network.
0:05.0	You're listening to Ask Me Anything with Pastor J.D. Greer.
0:09.2	Honest questions, quick answers.
0:11.3	I'm your host, Todd Unzicker, and this is where J.D.., you said, ask me anything.
0:35.1	So this week, this week on the podcast, this might be a question that your
0:39.6	teenage daughters have asked. I know it's something that students in our student ministry have
0:46.2	asked, but our listeners want to know, here's the question, should I kiss before marriage?
0:52.5	Well, first of all, my teenage daughters have never asked that question
0:55.2	because they're not allowed to date until they're 35. And so when I told them they can run for president,
0:59.8	they can also date. No, okay, so that is a, that is a difficult question. And I realize that what I'm
1:06.2	about to say may not be, there are Christians who I think could very reasonably disagree with
1:10.0	this and come up with different answers. You know, so I grew up when I was in college, that was during the time
1:15.7	when this whole I kiss dating goodbye thing came out. And it was kind of the courtship model of dating.
1:22.8	And I have a lot of sympathy for it. Josh Harris, who wrote the stuff, is actually a good friend of
1:27.4	mine. And it was kind of a reaction, I think, to basically this kind of culture we grew up in
1:32.3	that was basically, you know, just kind of a whatever goes. And the Christian version of that
1:37.4	was, you shouldn't have sex before marriage, but you should just, you know, date as many people
1:41.2	as possible. And as long as you didn't have sex, then you weren't
1:44.4	sinning. And what courtship, that whole idea was that, no, you know, dating is a road that leads to
1:49.4	marriage and you shouldn't get on the road with somebody that you're not reasonably sure that you
1:53.6	are going to marry. And so just don't date. Don't be romantically involved until the time is right.
1:59.8	And then you should do it at a distance.
	...

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