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Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

Should I kiss before marriage?

Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

J.D. Greear

Christianity, Religion & Spirituality

4.9624 Ratings

🗓️ 5 November 2018

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Pastor J.D. shares his thoughts on dating and courtship, as well as some helpful guidelines for appropriate displays of affection before marriage.

A glimpse inside this episode:

* Courting vs. Dating

* Why I don’t agree with courting: Courting goes beyond the Bible teaches; it is inconsistent (e.g. giving flowers can be sexual); and it puts unhealthy pressure on dating when you court. But we can learn from the idea of courting.


* But I think we should keep dating light

* Dating is a road that is leading toward marriage.
* Dating is best when it is non-exclusive, non-physical, non-escalating (especially when you're younger).


* Appropriate show of affection vs. foreplay

* Lynn’s Laws (from Pastor J.D.'s father):

* Nothing in the dark
* Nothing should last longer than 5 seconds
* Nothing below the neck
* Never lie down




Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Lifeway Leadership Podcast Network.

0:05.0

You're listening to Ask Me Anything with Pastor J.D. Greer.

0:09.2

Honest questions, quick answers.

0:11.3

I'm your host, Todd Unzicker, and this is where J.D.., you said, ask me anything.

0:35.1

So this week, this week on the podcast, this might be a question that your

0:39.6

teenage daughters have asked. I know it's something that students in our student ministry have

0:46.2

asked, but our listeners want to know, here's the question, should I kiss before marriage?

0:52.5

Well, first of all, my teenage daughters have never asked that question

0:55.2

because they're not allowed to date until they're 35. And so when I told them they can run for president,

0:59.8

they can also date. No, okay, so that is a, that is a difficult question. And I realize that what I'm

1:06.2

about to say may not be, there are Christians who I think could very reasonably disagree with

1:10.0

this and come up with different answers. You know, so I grew up when I was in college, that was during the time

1:15.7

when this whole I kiss dating goodbye thing came out. And it was kind of the courtship model of dating.

1:22.8

And I have a lot of sympathy for it. Josh Harris, who wrote the stuff, is actually a good friend of

1:27.4

mine. And it was kind of a reaction, I think, to basically this kind of culture we grew up in

1:32.3

that was basically, you know, just kind of a whatever goes. And the Christian version of that

1:37.4

was, you shouldn't have sex before marriage, but you should just, you know, date as many people

1:41.2

as possible. And as long as you didn't have sex, then you weren't

1:44.4

sinning. And what courtship, that whole idea was that, no, you know, dating is a road that leads to

1:49.4

marriage and you shouldn't get on the road with somebody that you're not reasonably sure that you

1:53.6

are going to marry. And so just don't date. Don't be romantically involved until the time is right.

1:59.8

And then you should do it at a distance.

...

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