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lighting we grew up with. Here's a breakdown of the main ways that it shows up. Number one,

minimizing your pain. You downplay the severity of what you went through, even if someone else

told you the same story, you'd be horrified on their behalf, even though if someone told you, someone else told you the same story, you'd be horrified on their behalf, even though if someone told you, someone else told you

the same story, you'd be horrified on their behalf. This keeps you from validating your own

suffering and seeking healing. It wasn't that bad. Other people had it worse. Two, questioning your

perception, second guessing what you saw or experienced, feeling like your memory can't be trusted,

constant replaying events to see

if you made it up or blew it out of proportion. Three, invalidating emotions. You feel angry,

sad, or scared, and then immediately tell yourself, you're overreacting, you're too sensitive,

stop being dramatic. Instead of allowing your

emotions to guide you, you suppress or dismiss them because you learned they weren't welcome

or safe. Four, blame shifting towards self, automatically assuming you were at fault in

conflicts, replaying situations to figure out what you did wrong rather than considering

the other person's behavior. This shows up into adult relationships as apologizing excessively

or taking on responsibility that isn't yours. Five, rewriting abuse as love. Telling yourself,

they did the best they could. They yelled because they cared that's just how

families are this is survival logic if you can frame hurt as love you reduce the terror of

recognizing that the people who were supposed to protect you actually harmed you six doubting

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