This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human.

This is Lee Habib, and this is Our American Stories,

the show where America is the star and the American people, coming to you from

the city where the West begins, Fort Worth, Texas. Up next, another story from a writing student of

one of our longtime regular contributors in Codiac I owned Alaska, Leslie Layland Fields. Today, Jolene Lee Vart shares her story entitled

Embracing a Child. Take it away, Jolene. I happened to be in town when I received the text

message announcing the arrival of a healthy baby boy. The moment I had been dreading was here, and suddenly I knew what I had to do.

I drove the few blocks to the hospital, determined to show love to my little sister, no

matter the cost to myself.

The strong October winds howled outside, and as I walked the long

corridors, the building seemed to tremble. I came from a baby-loving family. I'd held them,

cuddled them, and watched over bunches of them. But now, the thought of holding a newborn

felt as scary as the idea of holding a snake.

Avoidance had been how I'd been coping with many years of unexplained infertility,

simply averting my eyes and blocking reality from my mind.

It had seemed like a good strategy. Until now, I couldn't do

that to my sister. She was too important to me. I braced myself as I entered the maternity ward.

The posters of women with large round abdomens and smiling babies made me want to crawl out of my skin.

I asked a nurse if I could visit.

She seemed so pleased to lead the way down the hall, assuming I was pleased to be there too.

Then she proudly swept back a curtain, revealing the perfect family. I had expected to find my sister exhausted. Instead, she was glowing with some

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