SC 20 - Conflict Is Good News - Diane Musho Hamilton
The Jayson Gaddis Podcast
Jayson Gaddis
4.7 • 999 Ratings
🗓️ 14 October 2015
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I really enjoyed this conversation with Zen teacher Diane Hamilton. She brings such a genuine willingness to move toward what’s uncomfortable in our relationships. We explore why she left the mormon church and how she got into zen practice. We also take a good look at parenting, marriage, and why it’s so paramount to be able to take our partner’s point of view. I know you’ll appreciate this dialogue.
SHOWNOTES:
- A special guest kicks off the podcast [0:10]
- Beginning of the interview [5:20]
- Diane shares the arc of her life up to this point [6:00]
- Diane’s “genius zone”: Meditation and Mediation [10:00]
- Skill with conflict = comfort with difference [16:00]
- Diane shares about the relationship dynamic with her husband [19:30]
- Diane defines conflict: “Extreme difference that is fueled by emotion, and is very disruptive to the system” [21:00]
- Why is conflict “good news”? [22:10]
- The 3 styles of conflict [24:15]
- Avoidance
- Accommodation
- Aggression
- How Diane uses meditation to work with conflict [29:00]
- Diane demos mindfulness meditation [32:50]
- The yogic practice of hearing perspectives we don’t agree with [39:00]
- Bringing Zen and Integral into conflict [45:40]
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | And what's your name? |
| 0:13.0 | Lotion, I'm six and a half years old. |
| 0:16.0 | My dad is right here and I'm his son. |
| 0:20.0 | Fighting is scary, uncomfortable, but it's good to do it in a nicer way to someone you know. |
| 0:29.6 | Hello, friends and seekers, relationship geeks, people who just want to grow and |
| 0:40.4 | want to get relationship in a good way for themselves in their life. |
| 0:44.6 | Welcome. |
| 0:45.6 | This podcast, as you know, is devoted to people who want to grow and develop themselves |
| 0:50.5 | to have extraordinary relationships. And the smart ones of us know that it takes work to, |
| 0:59.1 | in some amount of effort, to achieve a great relationship, right? |
| 1:04.0 | We don't just get it contrary to the movies |
| 1:07.1 | and it just feels great. |
| 1:09.2 | We get that sometimes and we score, we find a sweet partner and then we move in with |
| 1:16.4 | them and then we live with them and we share space with them and do you have to do |
| 1:20.8 | laundry with them and clean with them and we start to find each other's idiosyncrasies and |
| 1:26.5 | If you're paying attention at all your partner annoys you and that's no mystery yet the harder it gets which it does get harder if you're |
| 1:38.6 | not paying attention the more you'll want to bail out but if you have a lot of smart tools and a map and a backpack full of really |
| 1:46.9 | kick-ass gear, you're going to last a lot longer in the relationship game. So that's what this podcast is about. Today's guest is this |
| 1:58.1 | very inspiring Zen teacher. Why am I having a Zen teacher on the show? Well, because she gets conflict. And Diane Muschow |
| 2:10.6 | Hamilton, who is our guest today |
| 2:12.8 | understands the power of conflict. |
| 2:16.5 | And if you know anything about conflict, |
... |
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