You're listening to the microversion of the Savage Love Cast at Savage.loaf.

A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can find its shoes,

or get its pants on. Depending on who this famous quote is credited to, Winston Churchill,

Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, it's either that the truth can't find its shoes or put its pants on

faster. I'd like to give the quote a little spin to my own, maybe expand it a little bit. A lie

can pull its pants down, stick its dick through a glory hole, get its dick sucked by a complete

stranger, or what the lie hopes is a complete stranger, below its line, load down a throat,

and then put its pants back on and still make it halfway around the world before the truth

can find its shoes, or put on its pants. Okay, okay, doesn't roll off the tongue or up and

out of the throat quite as easily as the pithier versions of this quote credited to far pithier

writers and thinkers, but it's kind of where my head went when I read something in the Daily

Caller. The Daily Caller, the conservative news website founded by Tucker Carlson,

which is the news website that once described me as a deviant of the highest order,

which I have used as my bio and my social media ever since, and I can digress for a second.

Ever since the Daily Caller called me a deviant of the highest order,

I've been thinking seriously about creating the noble order of the deviant, kind of like the

noble order of the garter, founded in 1348 by Edward III, and like kings and queens of England

ever since I could pass out little enamel pins once a year to noble deviance gongs as the

Brits call them, because deviance we deserve my notes too. Anyway, the Daily Caller reported this

week that students at the University of Augsburg and Germany petitioned their university to install

glory holes in campus bathrooms. Students at the University of Augsburg also requested that condoms,

knee pads, licking wipes, and other sanitary products be made available these glory holes,

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