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If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

while there's nothing you can't ask on the Saturdaysvokest.

It's early, I realize, to start talking about Valentine's Day, but there's a reason I have to start this week's show with a little discussion of Valentine's Day.

And I'm just going to rush through my standard operating advice, which, as everyone now knows, is fuck first so that you don't have to send me

disappointed emails on February 15th about how or call with disappointed sounding voices

on February 15th because you went out on Valentine's Day and you ate a bunch of heavy

rich food, ate an enormous dessert, drank a bunch of wine or booze, and then surprise,

you didn't get laid when you went home because you were in a food and booze and, oh my God, it's late coma. Don't make that mistake. Fuck first and then go out to dinner. That is my standard issue advice for all sorts of things now. Voting, getting married, whatever you're going to do, we're usually fuck after.

Voting's very exciting for us at our house.

I have to say, whatever you do, where you usually fuck after, fuck before.

And then you won't be disappointed after if you don't have time for the fucking.

Don't hold the fucking in reserve.

And the beautiful thing about fucking first on Valentine's Day is you will be home fucking while everyone else is crowded into the restaurant. And it is much easier to get a dinner reservation on Valentine's

day for 9, 930, 10 o'clock. And the staff will be happier to see you because things will be

calming the fuck down. And you will have fucked. And then you can have a celebratory wasn't that an awesome

fuck dinner instead of having a dinner where you worry the whole time about oh my god if I order

the beef then I'm going to be farty while we're supposed to be fucking so I guess I'll order

something I don't really want no fuck first and then you can eat whatever you want you can drink

as much as you want and then you can roll home for the. You can drink as much as you want. And then you can

roll home for the post-fuck post-valentine's Day romantic dinner cuddle. Now, here's the reason

why I'm bringing up Valentine's Day. So far in advance the fucking Valentine's Day.

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