You're listening to a Stranger podcast, www.com. Have you been naughty or nice? If you're stuck in aary, or if you're looking for sexual...

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm going to take it to the case.

Oh, no, no, no.

I just blew into the podcasting pod here on the 23rd floor,

the Washington Mutual Building in downtown Seattle.

Fortunately, the Washington Mutual Building doesn't exist anymore,

but here we still are spiritually at home in the Washington Mutual Building.

Just blew in from the airport.

I flew within seven days of Christmas.

I flew the week of Christmas when the whole world is flying.

And, you know, as a frequent flyer, as somebody who gets gifts at Christmas time from airlines,

which is really weird to come home and there's a present for you from Delta,

which is an indication that you fly too fucking much.

But as someone who gets gifts from airlines, I'm in this horrible position of being simultaneously impatient with and jealous of all the inexperienced flyers.

Jealous of because I would like to fly less than I do.

I would love to be an inexperienced flyer.

I would love to not know my hole from an ass in the ground at the airport.

I would love to be one of those people who can stand in that long line for 40 minutes and then realize, after I've watched

everybody else in America remove their belt and shoes and jacket, that I have to as well.

I would love to be that person, but I am not that person. But I try to be patient

with those people this morning at LAX. I helped a woman who was flying with three small

children, get through the line. I helped her put her bags up, walked her through, helped her out.

...