Hello, and Merry Christmas, my lovely betwixters. How are you? I hope whatever you're doing

this winter holiday, whether it's yule or Christmas or Solstice blessings or Hanukkah or whether

you're strip naked and cavorting around a pagan bumfire, whatever it is you do. I hope that

you are having a damn good time doing it. This is your festive fair do's warning. It's a lot

like the other fair do's warning, but I want you to imagine it with tinsel on it,

and possibly some bubbles. Right, here we go. You are warned. This is an adult podcast with

adult themes spoken by me who is an adult speaking to another adult about adulty things and an

adulty way. And actually what we're talking about today is we are talking, I don't know why we're

doing this, but we are. We are talking about people who fancy Santa and asking the question

is Santa a sex symbol? Yes, we are going there. Childhoods will be ruined by the end of this,

but we're going to do it. So that's what we're talking about, sexual themes and a sexual way,

and it's going to involve Santa, and that might just be too much for you to listen to, in which case,

get out, stay on the good list, and for the rest of you, committed naughty list betwixters.

Let's get into this.

Well, hello, and a ho ho ho, from me, Kate Lister. Welcome back to Betwixta Sheets,

the history of sex, scandal and society. Today we are thinking a lot about Santa, St Nick,

Father Christmas, Santa Claus. Who is he really? Well, let's break him down. He gets to decide if you

are a minority or the nice list, and your naughty boy are a good girl. So he's a daddy really,

and he has a really, really big sack. My producer wrote that joke. I just feel that I need to say

that at this point. This doesn't need to be any worse than it already is. Okay, he has a really

big sack, but basically Santa when you think about it, this disciplinarian daddy figure who's

deciding whether you are naughty or nice, I'm just going to put it out there. Santa is the ultimate

...