Santa University 5: SAW-NTA University
The Daily Zeitgeist
iHeartPodcasts
4.5 • 4.9K Ratings
🗓️ 24 December 2021
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It's that time of year! Get ready for Santa University part 5!
CAST:
Jamie: Narrator
Jack O'Brien: Goth Santa and Carlos Santanta
Joelle Smith: Cassandra Santanta
Caitlin Durante: SULLY
Wyatt Fair: Cran Zamboni
Noah Britton: Dan Zamboni
Anna Hossnieh: Gal Santa
Shereen Younes: Intellect Santa
Prop / Jason Petty: JINGLESAW
Maggie Mae Fish: Heavily Armed and Volatile Santa
Sophie Lichterman: Lightly Armed and Reasonable Santa
Aristotle Acevedo: Jamie Loftus
Annie Brennen: Completely Fucked Santa / Movie Ticket Holder
Chris Crofton: Dan Santa
With Miles Gray.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Let's be honest. The rent a car industry is the definition of boring and the reason can be found in the name itself. |
| 0:08.0 | Rent a car? You don't want a friend? You want the friend? You don't want a job? You want the job? |
| 0:17.0 | The is always over up. That's why we don't offer a car. We offer the car. |
| 0:23.0 | 6. Rent the car. Choose from our premium rental fleet at 6.com. |
| 0:30.0 | This holiday season, 12 strangers, 12 tails. Something was out there. |
| 0:37.0 | Whatever it is, it's ravenous. Is that the last person to see you alive? |
| 0:41.0 | 12 ghosts starring Malcolm McDowell. Who are you? I'm the in-keep. |
| 0:47.0 | Presented in immersive 3D audio, a co-production of I Heart Radio and Grim and Mild from Erin Makey. |
| 0:53.0 | Listen to 12 ghosts on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 1:01.0 | Where were you in 92? Bouncing your butt to Sir Mixla? Wondering if you like Billy Ray Cyrus could pull off a moment? |
| 1:07.0 | Now I had as a podcast all about it. I'm Jason Longfied, and on my new show, Where Were You in 92, we take a ride through the major hits. |
| 1:13.0 | One hit wonders and shocking scandals that shaped the wildest 12 months of music history. |
| 1:17.0 | You know, the president came after me. Everybody's home, Warner was madness. |
| 1:21.0 | Music was magic, and I had completely burned that to the ground. |
| 1:25.0 | I realize I'm the forbidden fruit. |
| 1:28.0 | So listen and follow Where Were You in 92. On the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. |
| 1:35.0 | Hi, my name is Jamie Loftus, writer of Christmas Classic Santa University. |
| 1:43.0 | I wanted to thank you for turning on this year's installment of my 750-page musical screenplay about a university where 40,000 Santa's are admitted every year, and 39,999 of them are brutally murdered before graduation day, revealing the one true Santa. |
| 2:01.0 | I realize that you have a number of Christmas entertainment options this year, including an HBO Max special called Santa Incorporated, a new show that asks what if someone took the idea of Santa University and made it so fucking horrible. |
| 2:15.0 | But people return to Santa University every year for the strength of its storytelling, its beloved characters, and the fact that it's written in three hours or less each and every year. |
| 2:26.0 | The pages you're going to hear this year are from a section of the script called Sauntah University, which is a section of Santa University that is basically the movie Saw. |
| 2:36.0 | There's new cast members, there's returning cast members, and I thought, why not offer some directors commentary for this momentous occasion. |
... |
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