S5 Ep141: Dealing with Toxic People with Gary Thomas
Live Well Anyway
MacKenzie Koppa
4.6 • 605 Ratings
🗓️ 6 November 2019
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week on Cultivating the Lovely, MacKenzie has a chat with author and speaker Gary Thomas about his new book When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. Gary and his wife of 35 years have three children and live outside of Houston, TX. He has a heart for marriage, family and the church, and that love for people shines through this conversation with MacKenzie.
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- How Gary realized this book needed to be written through his own encounter with a toxic person
- Gary shares his heart for marriage while being real about abuse
- The danger of telling others to stay in relationship with toxic people
- Biblical examples of how to deal with toxic relationships
- Challenges from within the church to victims of abuse
- Gary identifies some warning signs that you may be in relationship with a toxic person
- If someone is stopping you from fulfilling God’s mission for you
- If someone is destroying your spirit
- If someone is controlling you
- If someone is gaslighting you or making you feel crazy
- The crucial importance of having strong Christian friends who can help you deal with toxic relationships
- Gary describes what “gaslighting” is and how to tell if it is happening to you
- The difference between a truly toxic person and someone who is acting in a toxic way but can change
- Why it is crucial to get a counselor to help you with a potentially violent person
- Some advice for singles
- Gary’s typical daily routine
Gary: diffusing essential oils in his office at work
Resources Mentioned- Books: Podcasts:Brainfood/The Knowledge Project
Movies: Find Gary-You can find Gary at garythomas.com. You can also follow him on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.
Find MacKenzie-You can find MacKenzie Koppa on Instagram, Facebook, and the CTL Facebook Group, of course! You can also listen to her family-friendly podcast The Same Page!
Thanks to Our Sponsors-CTL is brought to you by Plan to Eat meal planning service. Their big 50% OFF sale is coming November 29, 2019! Visit PlanToEat.com/LOVELY to start your free 60-day trial instead of the normal 30-day trial.
This week’s episode is also sponsored by EverlyWell. For 15% OFF you own at home lab test kit, go to EverlyWell.com/LOVELY and enter code LOVELY at checkout.
Today’s episode of CTL is brought to you by Policy Genius. Go to PolicyGenius.com to find the right coverage for you and your family.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Satan isn't very creative. |
| 0:03.4 | Toxic people often look alike and they act alike. |
| 0:06.7 | And if you start to smell it, you just kind of figure out, oh, yeah, I've seen this. |
| 0:27.1 | Welcome to cultivating the lovely. I'm your host, Mackenzie Kappa. And around here, |
| 0:31.9 | we know that life is hard and we have to do everything we can to just make it a little bit more lovely. So it's my mission to bring you great conversations, practical tools and information, |
| 0:36.7 | and a healthy dose of community |
| 0:38.4 | to help make those things happen. If you want to find out more, you can go to our website at |
| 0:42.6 | cultivating thelovely.com, visit our amazing membership community at patreon.com slash cultivating |
| 0:47.9 | the lovely, or by connecting with me on Instagram, which is one of my favorite places to interact |
| 0:52.4 | with all of you. You can find me at |
| 0:54.2 | Mackenzie Kappa. Thanks so much for joining me today. Okay, you guys, this is an interview that I have |
| 1:01.9 | been waiting and looking forward to for a really long time. It's an interview that hits so |
| 1:08.8 | close to home and the things that are talked about throughout it |
| 1:12.8 | were just personally ministering to my own soul and I hope that a lot of you will be touched by |
| 1:18.2 | it as well. It is with Gary Thomas and you might remember him from books like sacred marriage |
| 1:23.9 | and other relationship and marriage books but this one is called When to Walk |
| 1:28.6 | Away, Finding Freedom from Toxic People. And it's not just about marriages. It's about friendships, |
| 1:34.7 | children even. It's about work and church and any place that we can be confronted with people |
| 1:40.7 | who are toxic and have a toxic place in our life. It's a really powerful book |
| 1:47.1 | filled with so much wisdom. And I've had so many of you reach out to me over the past two years |
| 1:53.0 | with questions with what do I do? How do I support someone who is dealing with a toxic person? |
| 1:59.1 | How do I know if I'm dealing with a toxic person? |
... |
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