S4, Ep 7 Best Friend Therapy: Narcissists - Do you know a taker? When is a boundary really a demand? How can we protect ourselves?

Dial Emma

Emma Reed Turrell

Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 10 April 2023

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we're talking about those familiar situations, friendships and relationships, in which people take more from us than they give.

We look at the difference between boundaries and demands, and explain why our tolerance for narcissistic traits in other people might wear thin as we get older.

Elizabeth explores why she has a habit of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, and Emma shares how her journey through peri-menopause has helped her separate the wheat from the chaff.

We leave you with some practical advice about how to communicate more authentically and develop better relationships that are less about giving and more about sharing.

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Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.

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Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to Best Friend Therapy. I'm Elizabeth Day, author and
0:05.8	podcaster and for over 20 years I've been best friends with a therapist.
0:10.3	That's me. Hello, I'm Emma Reed-Tarell and I'm a psychotherapist. In my private
0:15.2	practice I talked to clients about the challenges they face in daily life and
0:18.5	we work together in a non-judgmental supportive space to increase their
0:22.0	sense of well-being. And as her BFF I get all the benefit of her expertise and
0:27.0	wisdom for free. Emma makes me feel better about life but also helps me to
0:31.8	understand why I act the way I do. Ah, thanks Liz. She's also one of the only
0:37.2	people allowed to call me Liz. We wanted to open the doors to our friendship and
0:41.8	throw a light on the therapy we all need in our everyday lives. Each week we
0:46.5	chat about what's on our minds to get deeper in our minds. Two best friends, one
0:51.7	therapist, no filter. That's Best Friend Therapy. Welcome to this week's episode
0:59.1	of Best Friend Therapy, where we are going to be talking about something which
1:03.2	has been rumbling around recently, both in the therapy room and just life. And I
1:10.7	have titled it Takers because there are some takers around. I loved it when you
1:17.1	suggested this. Okay, what did it mean to you when I said it? How did it land?
1:20.4	What it initially reminded me of was one of those terrible TV
1:24.4	adverts for a bank that's trying to rebrand itself and they get an act up to
1:30.0	perform a poem that they've written about what Britain is. Like Britain is
1:35.2	about the movers and shakers. Britain is about the musicians and the melody
1:40.8	makers. Britain is about you and me and the takers. That's what it reminded me of.
1:48.0	They've never asked you to do one of those, no? It's actually surprising. But when
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